


Maybe Someday

by elysianaurora



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Angst, Artist! Mickey, Bipolar Disorder, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, I suck at tags, M/M, Mutual Pining, Shameless Big Bang, Smut, Tattoo Artist Mickey Milkovich, few time jumps, mentions of drug abuse, mentions of mania
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-04 07:04:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 39,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20466998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elysianaurora/pseuds/elysianaurora
Summary: There’s only one available seat on the train and it just so happens to be next to the insanely hot tattoo artist that Ian’s been crushing on. Mickey doesn’t like strangers sitting next to him so when the personal trainer with the cute red hair sits next to him and then chases him onto the platform to give him his phone number Mickey is more than intrigued. What happens when their two worlds collide and the two men find themselves falling heart first? What if they both met the right person at the wrong time…can they have a happily ever after?





	1. Don’t Sit Next To Me Again

**Author's Note:**

> This is my contribution to Round 8 of Shameless Big Bang. It's my first time taking part as well as posting a multichapter fic this long all at once so I'm a bit nervous.
> 
> Thank you to my beta Erika and my artist Charlotte, it was a pleasure virtually meeting you both and working with you on this. It was extremely fun getting to collaborate creatively with other. 
> 
> Thank you Shannon for allowing me to bounce my ideas off you and for just generally motivating and encouraging me to keep at this. I love you a million.
> 
> I am incredibly proud and excited to share this piece with you since it has been something i have been working on for quite some time (even before round 8 was started). But I am very happy it's finally time to share this.

Art by [thetborch](https://thetborch.tumblr.com/post/187516260985/my-contribution-to-this-round-of-the-shameless) on Tumblr.

Mickey was generally a grumpy guy. According to his little sister, if you looked up bitch in the dictionary, Mickey’s picture would sure enough be there. The only thing that came out of that was Mandy collecting a firm pillow to the head. Mickey was no bitch…well no one’s bitch. He was bitchy, but not a bitch. Catch my drift? Anyway, his resting bitch face was usually what scared people away from him. His menacing glare and the fuck u-up tattoos on his knuckles made sure that no one ever sat next to him on the train. And while Mickey had moved past his rough thug days and had gone legit, he didn’t mind the stigma that still stood while he was on public transit. Let’s just say Mickey was squeamish, and he was not a big fan of BO, I mean who the fuck is, but that’s not the point. So the fact that people usually stayed away on the L was something he relished in. No one needed to be getting all up in his space and flustering him before he headed into work. 

Work, something Mickey was really damn proud of. He’d gone from dealing drugs and guns and collecting bets on Southside Chicago to working as a respectable artist at a tattoo parlor called Anarchy. His job was something he hadn’t really thought he’d pursue, but when he got in it he fell in love with it. The pay was decent, affording him his apartment that was close enough to Southside so he wouldn’t feel like he abandoned who he really is and far enough away from the Northside so that he couldn’t consider himself hippy trash. His dream was to one day open his own shop…but that seems like something in the distant future for him.

Mickey usually kept to himself, he didn’t have many friends, he’d probably catch a couple of beers with a few of the artists from the shop, but that was it and it wasn’t often enough to consider it a habit or routine. He didn’t go out much either, he’d usually hit up the clubs if he was dragged along or when he really needed to get his rocks off he’d hit up a gay bar and have a quick hook up. Hook ups that didn’t turn into more. He just liked staying to himself. Well all that excludes Jax, Mickey’s best friend and ex hook up. The guy latched on when he and Mickey met and he never let go. Not that Mickey minded though.

Back to the first point, he really enjoyed getting to sit on the train with an empty seat beside him while he flipped through the new book he’s been reading. Oh, that’s another thing he’s really gotten into in the last few years, reading. It calms him and allows him to just blank everything in his own life out. The book he’s currently reading is Twelve, and he’s gotten to a really fucked up part close to the ending where the main guy’s brother goes batshit crazy and kills everyone. He’s really into it, like he usually gets, wondering why the fuck this guy decided to hack everyone up with a samurai sword when someone plops down next to him in the vacant seat. He was well aware that the train had stopped, but they weren’t at his stop so he didn’t really bother looking up until he could feel the heat emanating off the other guy. 

He gazed up from his book to see the guy settling in and taking out his own novel, none the wiser that Mickey was staring at him. He was pretty damn attractive, if Mickey did say so himself. His pale freckled skin looked like it was glowing in the morning light and he had these soft looking pink lips. Mickey darted his eyes away, aware of how fucking gay his thoughts sounded. After a minute or so he spared a glance to the guy again taking in the small tufts of red hair peeking out from under his green beanie. As if on cue, the guy slowly turned his head and Mickey looked away as quickly as possible. He pulled his book back up to his face and pretended to be reading. He waited a beat before he chanced a look at the redhead. The redhead had looked away, but he had this knowing smirk on his lips as he fished around in his messenger bag. 

Mickey turned away focusing on his book trying his hardest not to think about how confidently hot the guy beside him was. And he tried to ease the fluttering happening in his stomach because Mickey Milkovich does not get fucking butterflies. He usually walked into bars and bluntly asked guys if they waned to fuck. He doesn’t share stolen glances or smirks or sits closely to a guy on the train. He simply doesn’t have time for that shit. But this guy is so close and Mickey allowed himself to take a deep breath to steady himself, but his nostrils are instantly filled with the guy’s cologne. It’s definitely not the usual pissy sweaty smell the train has. And Mickey had gotten too accustomed to taking small shallow breaths on the L so the smell doesn’t affect him, but he found himself taking another deep breath in and the guy smelled so good Mickey thought he was about to faint. 

The train screeched at his stop so he folded his book closed and stood up to shuffle out of the car. He hated having people so fucking close to him and he really just wanted to shout that somebody didn’t take a fucking shower in like three weeks, but he zipped his lips and willed himself to not look back. To not look back when the BO smell is suddenly masked by the hot redheaded guy’s cologne, meaning he was getting off on this stop. Mickey rolled his eyes at himself as he stepped onto the platform and headed toward the stairs. _ Just keep walking before you embarrass yourself. _

“Hey, wait up!” A voice called as a hand grasped at his elbow. He froze as he slowly turned around. On any other day, if someone grabbed him like that he’d have decked them, but he knew it was the redhead and he was hot…so sue him. “Uh…” the guy looked nervous, that confident smirk from before is gone and he tugged at his beanie to cover his ear, “I uh…I don’t really know what I was gonna say.” He laughed nervously and Mickey couldn’t help but think he loved the sound, “I think you’re really cute…call me sometime?” He rambled off while he held out a piece of paper with his number scribbled on it. Mickey looked down at his writing and back up with raised eyebrows as he slowly plucked the paper from the guy’s hands. “Shit…I totally read that wrong didn’t I? You know? You looking at me… shit, forget I said anything.” His dorky nervousness grows as he reached out to take the paper back.

Mickey yanked his hand back out of reach with a hint of tease in his eyes as he looked the redhead up and down before deadpanning, “Don’t ever sit next to me ever again, Red.”

***

Ian was running late. He was usually an on time, stick to his routine kind of guy but he’d stayed up the night before celebrating the new job his sister had landed and he overslept, straight through his alarm. So he was running late and he was starting to get nervous that he was going to miss his train and that he wouldn’t get to work on time. One thing he took a lot of pride in is how punctual he was. Everyone at his job always complimented him on how serious and dedicated he was. Ian took pride in this job because there was a time when he thought he wouldn’t get anything better than a janitorial position at his old high school. It’s not that he looked down on people who had those jobs, not at all, but because he was once them. He’d always been the kid who had dreams bigger than himself, and staying in such a stagnant menial job just wasn’t helping to give Ian purpose. 

His childhood dream was to be in the army and he’d always planned that on his eighteenth birthday he’d go down to the recruiting station and sign up. And maybe he didn’t sign up at eighteen and took the risk of blowing his entire future when he stole his older brother’s name and social security number, but he thanked God to this day that that one big mistake didn’t sabotage his career. It was in his second year of his mission when Bipolar disorder came knocking on his door and suddenly his dreams were flushed down the toilet. He didn’t think it would be possible to ever be himself again after losing everything that had once defined him. So he ran for months ending up in some of the lowest gutters of the world, but not all tragedies last forever. He still remembers sitting down with the Sergeant in charge of his case after they’d found him. He could still remember the sound of being told he had been granted a second chance, and they were letting him go with a clean record. If he’d been dishonorably discharged, his secondary dream would have been thrown out the window with his primary one. So many nights go by where Ian thanks his lucky stars that the Sergeant chose not to crush all his dreams at once.

He was going to impart the knowledge he had learnt in junior ROTC to the young minds of Chicago. He needed a bachelor's degree though, so he went back to school, getting his GED first and then moving on to college. He’s in his final year, taking night classes while training at the new gym in a quasi Northside area. He taught his own boot camp and boxing classes at the new gym, Misfit, just outside Canaryville, when he’s not studying his ass off at home hoping to do his best in school. 

Ian loves this job more than he ever thought was possible. Sure, having to ride the train every morning and evening was a pain in the ass, but he didn’t mind it. It was all a journey to get to his main goal and he was doing pretty good at it. He had a few more months of school and then he’d be graduating in the winter. 

He stepped onto the platform just in time to catch the train, shuffling in behind a small group. Being the last one to enter the car, he looked around scanning for an empty seat. Only one left. Next to the cute dark haired guy Ian had spotted a couple times before. To say Ian had a crush was a bit of an understatement. The first time he’d seen the guy was a fleeting moment as he climbed off the train and onto the platform. After that Ian swore he’d never see him again. 

A few weeks later the same guy was sitting by himself occasionally shooting people glares if they came too close. He mostly sat reading a book on the train or a book he’d always seem to write in…_ wait scratch that _, sketch in. Ian sneaked a peek one day when he was passing by. The guy had a menacing glare on most days and that’s usually why Ian never took the seat that was always empty beside him. A guy like that would probably beat the shit out of Ian, also Ian’s pretty sure the guy has never even noticed him before. But Ian couldn’t help himself but think the bad boy thug with the knuckle tattoos was of all things…cute, with that glare of his. 

Today Ian takes a deep breath and sits beside the guy. He fumbled with his bag reaching for his own book, but he could feel the hot guy’s eyes on him from the corner of his eye. He settled in willing himself to not look up. He wondered just how long the guy will go staring at him. Ian couldn’t help it though. It was like a magnet was pulling his attention to the brunette, and before he knew it he was looking up and the guy was looking away. Ian couldn’t help the smirk that was curling on his lips because the guy had been staring at him for more than five minutes. He looked back down to his book hardly even reading a single paragraph when he felt the guys eyes on him again. 

From his peripheral, Ian could see the guy subtly lick his lips and he’s wondering if he’s reading this correctly. Is the bad boy brunette checking him out? He decided in that moment that today is the day he’s gonna talk to the guy. He’s gonna psych up the nerve he hasn’t had in the last three months and he’s gonna say something. In fact, he was going to give him his number. He fumbled through his bag for the small notepad Debbie had given him in an attempt to make him _ more organized _. 

As he’s finished scribbling his number onto the paper the train was screeching to a stop and he knew this was their stop. The guy got up and tried to get off before the crowd clambered around the door, but by the time he got there they’re shuffling slowly out the car. He’s so close, he’s standing right behind him and he could almost see the top of his head because Ian has a couple inches on him and he can’t help but think the guy is the cutest thing he’s ever seen. When his feet hit the platform, the guy is already gunning for the steps and _ my god is the fucker fast on his short legs _. 

Ian called out “Hey, wait up,” as he caught up and gripped the guy’s elbow and his hand shoots back because he swears he felt an electric jolt through his body. The guy slowly turned and Ian thinks he’s staring into the most beautiful eyes he’s ever seen. He has the most pink and soft looking lips and Ian wants to reach out and kiss him but he can’t. “Uh.” _ Fuck _ , he hadn’t really thought of what he would say had he actually gotten the nerve.“I uh…I don’t really know what I was gonna say.” He nervously laughed while he admonished himself for not thinking shit through. _ The truth was always a good idea right? _

“I think you’re really cute…call me sometime?” He’s rambling and he’s pretty sure he looked like a big doofus as he held out the piece of paper with his number scribbled on it. 

The guy looked down at his outstretched hand as he took the paper slowly and then he looked back up with these raised eyebrows without saying a word, but he didn’t have to because those brows spoke for him and suddenly Ian realized what a presumptuous fucker he was. “Shit…I totally read that wrong didn’t I? You know? You looking at me… shit, forget I said anything.” 

He stumbled around himself and his words as he felt like the biggest idiot around town. He hated rejection and he had just set himself up for it in the middle of the L platform. Shit, he reached out to take the paper back so he can shred all evidence of him being a complete and utter ass.

Surprisingly, the guy yanked his hand back out of reach with a look in his eyes, it’s a sexy look, Ian thinks, and he wouldn’t mind getting that look a next time. He looked Ian up and down again before straightening out his facial features before stating blandly, “Don’t sit next to me ever again, Red.”

And Ian can’t help but smile as he watched the guy descend down the steps. _ Shit! _ The guy called him red and Ian forgot to put his name on the paper. Fuck, it’s not like he thought the guy would call him anyway.


	2. The Purple Note

The shop was already buzzing with life when he pushed through the big glass doors. He’d been slow that morning on his walk from the L trying his best to make sense of what had happened on the platform. This sexy as fuck guy came out of nowhere and called Mickey fucking cute. Mickey had been called a lot of things before, but cute wasn’t one of them. And the thing about it was, he didn’t even hate it. He liked the way the guy’s laugh sounded and how he got anxious and his fingers pulled his hat over his ears nervously. Mickey silently scolded himself for the little explosion of butterflies that had erupted in his stomach. 

The guy was really damn attractive and now there was a scrap of paper burning a hole through Mickey’s jacket pocket and he seemingly didn’t know how to function. Obviously he wasn’t gonna call the guy. Or maybe he should. Mickey didn’t know what the fuck to do. He shrugged his jacket off and hung it on the hook in the lounge as he made his way into the reception room. Gia was out for the day so Mickey knew he’d be doubling behind the desk and behind the needle. “Mickey Mouse!” Jax called as he came out from the back. 

Jax was a cool guy, he honestly didn’t look like he belonged in Chicago though. He more looked suited to a beach somewhere in California or Florida. He was slim and tall with light washed blond hair that had tight curls that fell forward a little. He shaved down the sides leaving the top a little longer but it’s getting to that point now when it needs a cut. He’s got beautifully pale skin and piercing blue eyes, a straight nose where a small silver ring is pierced through the right side. He wears a full sleeve of tattoos on his left arm and half of a sleeve from his wrist to elbow on the other, his chest has a few here and there and he’s even got a cluster of snowflakes on the left side of his neck. Jax is Mickey’s closest friend in the shop and he’s also the guy Mickey used to hook up with…the only guy Mickey hooked up with on the regular that he knew. But Jax has gotten into a really serious relationship with their petite receptionist Gia, the pink haired punk girl who doesn’t give a shit about what people think of her. 

“Stop fucking calling me that,” Mickey said as he flipped open the appointment book. “You’ve got a cover up in ten minutes.” 

“I know,” he said as he sat down next to Mickey behind the desk. “What’s up? Thought we were going out for drinks last night.”

“I was fucking beat man,” Mickey groused. He wanted to tell Jax about this morning but he didn’t wanna get shit for it so he kept his mouth shut as he flipped through the appointment book.

“What’s on your mind?” Jax asked because he knows Mickey really fucking well. He doesn’t look Mickey in the eye as he’s trying to fit a couple designs back into their binder. 

“Uh…promise not to give me shit?”

Jax raised his blond eyebrows before he looked Mickey in the eye, “I promise.”

“Some hot redhead gave me his number on the train this morning and called me cute.”

Jax’s lips split into a wide grin as he lit up, “That’s my man!” He slammed his knuckles into Mickey’s shoulder playfully as he giggled. “That’s great, man. You need to get some dick.” Mickey’s face morphed into its permanent glare and Jax only shrugged. “I’m not sorry man. It’s the truth.”

“Probably, but I don’t think the guy is like that, man. I mean…he called me fucking cute. If he wanted to just bang he’d say I was hot or some shit. He looked like the relationship kind.”

“And what’s so wrong with that?” 

“That’s not me.” Mickey shrugged, well maybe it’s never been him before but he’s starting to think recently that he could be that kind of guy. That’s just not something he lets Jax know he’s been thinking about.

“Why the fuck not? You’re a good guy, you care for people, maybe it’s time you start being happy a little bit. Think about it, when you’re in a relationship you can get sex anytime you want. You don’t have to trek it up to Boystown every time you wanna bang and you don’t need to bend over in an alleyway unless that’s some weird kink you have that I don’t know about.” 

“Fuck off,” Mickey sayid with zero bite behind it. “I’m happy.”

“Probably, but why not be happier. Call the guy. Go on a date for fucks sake. Live a little.” Just then the bell on the door chimed as a blonde girl walked in. “Hi, welcome to Anarchy, how may I help you?” Jax said with feign pleasantry.

“Hi, I’m Amber, I’m here to do a cover up. I have an appointment.”

“Ah, yes. Right this way,” Jax said getting up and grabbing one of their design binders off the counter to go to the back, he shot Mickey a glare, “Really Mickey…think about what I said.”

“Go do your fucking job,” Mickey grumbled, turning his attention to the ringing landline. 

***

Ian’s definitely not expecting the guy to call or text. And he definitely hasn’t been glancing at his phone every time he hit the locker rooms at the gym after training someone. Okay, maybe he’s a little hopeful. The guy didn’t wanna give the paper back…that’s gotta mean he’s interested, right? He dragged his towel across his face collecting his sweat before he began peeling his clothing off and heading into the showers. Ian can’t seem to get the image of the guy out his mind, it’s the first time he’d ever been so close to finally get to see every detail. Those pink, full lips kept coming to mind. He headed into the shower to make it quick before heading toward the train. 

His phone vibrated in his jeans pocket the minute he stepped out of Misfit and he could neither explain nor admit to his heart skipping a beat with excitement. His face fell slightly when he noticed it’s just a text message from his sister Fiona. 

** _Fiona: _ ** Think you can watch Liam tonight? Debbie has a group project and I got a date with Mike.. 

** _Ian: _ ** Sure. I’m heading to the L now. 

The L was busy like any other day at this time. It was evening and everyone was heading home rushing to get a space on a train car. Ian usually walked a stop down from where he worked and took the first car. But today he found himself heading a car down because the first was filled. The first person he noticed when he stepped onto the train, was the cute, hot guy from earlier that morning. Ian smirked as the guy had yet to notice him with his head buried in his book. Ian pulled his messenger bag to his front and lowered himself to the seat beside the brunette. The guy’s head immediately snapped up to find Ian looking at him wearing his best smug look. The guy’s eyebrows climbed high on his forehead and he shook his head. Ian settled in beside him, their shoulders barely brushing, “You know, if I knew I’d be seeing you now I wouldn’t have ran after you this morning,” Ian said lowly.

“Yeah…really risked falling face first in the metal grating,” the guy said nonchalantly looking back to his book like he had zero interest in what Ian had to say. “You make that a habit?”

“What?” Ian asked still looking at the guy’s seemingly perfect side profile.

“Running after strangers to tell them how cute you find them.”

Ian nervously chuckled, he really thought he had his head screwed on properly, but this guy’s throwing him for a loop and Ian’s getting more nervous, “Only the ones with Fuck U-Up tattooed on their knuckles.”

“Hmph.” The guy snorted as he turned his attention back to Ian “Thought I told you never sit next to me again.”

“Yeah well, you get to have my phone number in your pocket, so the least I get is to sit wherever I want.”

The guy laughed and Ian’s pretty sure it’s the best thing he’s heard, “Who says I didn’t throw it away?”

Ian could see the tiny purple paper he’d given the guy peeking out his coat pocket, so he reached forward, grabbed it and held it up, “This says you didn’t. Gotta be careful, don’t wanna lose it. It might have just fallen out.”

The guy smirked and shook his head as he turned his attention back to his book ignoring the fact that Ian was now holding the paper. The train then came to a halt at Ian’s stop and Ian dropped the purple note in the crease of the guy’s book before getting up. He looked down at the guy and then smiled, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiled with his new found confidence before heading out onto the platform. 

  
  



	3. It’s A Date Then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter is heavy in dialogue and texts.

He really needed a cold beer. After the day he had…goddamn he needed it. The shop was busier than usual today and he was especially tired after trying to manage the desk, finish designs and actually tattoo people. He was just plopping down on the couch after he’d cracked a cold Budweiser when there was a knock at his door. “What the fuck?” Mickey groaned as he pushed himself off the couch and headed over to the door. 

Swinging open the door he found Jax and Gia smiling widely, one holding up a six pack of beer and the other holding McDonald’s. Mickey grabbed the bag of food from Gia before heading back into his apartment with his friends following close behind. “Fuck are you two doing here?”

“Jax’s brother brought home his new girl and they’ve been banging for like three hours, we really needed to get out of there.”

“So you thought you’d come harass me?” Mickey asked incredulously as he sank back into the couch.

“We brought food, didn’t we?”

“Why the fuck don’t you two get your own place already?” 

“We’re looking, alright? There aren’t many good places around that we can afford,” Jax said cracking a beer open. “Besides, we gotta get a two bedroom for the months that Gia’s mom is home from the hospital.”

“Wait, so where does she stay now when she’s out?”

“Our room, we sleep on the pullout couch,” Gia griped as she stuck a fry into her mouth.

Mickey thought for a while. He’s got that apartment upstairs that his brother was renting and had covered a year’s rent with his drug money. But the year is almost up and Mickey knew he did’t have enough cash to cover it. “Look, Iggy covered the year’s rent on the unit above. The lease is almost up and I can’t afford to keep it. He’s got like five more years in the joint…I’ll talk to the landlord and see if he can transfer the lease. Or at least put one of your names on it.”

Mickey collected a hard punch to arm, “OW, what the fuck?”

“You couldn’t tell me ‘bout this shit earlier?” Jax chastised.

“Well I didn’t exactly know how she’d feel about you living upstairs from you ex fuck buddy,” Mickey answered bluntly. 

Gia laughed stressing, “I’m not jealous or worried.” 

“Yeah, besides, you got that new redhead right?” Jax teased.

Mickey stretched his leg out, kicking Jax’s knee, “You see, this is why I gotta stop telling you shit. You said you wouldn’t give me shit about that.”

“Oh, come on.”

“So Mickey…” Gia started, “What’s this about a redhead?”

“Oh, fuck me,” Mickey groaned finishing off his beer.

Gia giggled, “Oh, you wish.”

Mickey snorted loudly, “No, G…you wish.”

“So is he gonna be another notch on your bed post or is he  _ the one _ ,” Gia teased around a mouthful of fries.

Jax snorted as he kicked his feet up on the coffee table, “Oh, come on, I can see him in a healthy relationship.”

“Mickey…in a relationship? Yeah right!” Gia laughed.

“So what if I do want that?” Mickey asked causing both his friends to look up. Jax shrugged, “I wouldn’t be surprised, I think it’s a great idea.”

“You thinking about settling down?” Gia asked.

“Sometimes.”

***

Liam was finally down for the night and Ian was just getting ready for bed. Today was a strenuous day, there were lots of people who were now getting into exercising and needed a lot of help and by the end of the day Ian’s body was drained and he couldn’t wait for his bed. He plopped down onto his soft mattress taking his phone off the nightstand to see if he had any new messages.

** _Carl:_ ** You got 20 bucks to lend?

** _Fiona:_ ** Employee camping retreat this week, Mike thinks I should go to get everyone to warm up to me. Can you watch Liam until Thursday?

He shot off appropriate responses before properly laying down to rest. As his eyes began drooping low he felt his phone vibrate against the bed. 

** _Unknown number: _ ** Hey ** **

His interest spiked a little at the new thread that lit up his screen. He’s had a long day, he’s tired so the first thing that pops into his mind is who the fuck has gotten his number now. It takes him a while to respond but he sees the bubble indicating the other person is typing pop up and then disappear again until another message sends a short vibration through his phone.

** _Unknown number:_ ** It’s Mickey. 

Ian’s brows furrowed in confusion; he doesn’t know a Mickey but then it’s like his brain suddenly stopped short-circuiting as he remembered that morning, seeing that guy and finally building up the nerve to give him his phone number. He shot off three question marks just to get some kind of confirmation instead of jumping into his flirty skin and embarrassing himself.

** _Ian:_ ** ???

** _Mickey:_ ** the guy from the train you hit on this morning.

** _Ian: _ ** Oh grumpy cute guy. Hey

Ian felt his heart rate pick up pace as he stared at the three dots bouncing as Mickey replied.  _ Mickey _ . Cute guy with a cute name. 

** _Mickey:_ ** you gonna tell me your name, Rusty?

** _Ian: _ ** wow making fun of the hair already…original. 

** _Mickey:_ ** So? Name or not?

** _Ian:_ ** Ian 

** _Mickey:_ ** was that so difficult?

** _Ian:_ ** I guess not. So you making this a habit?

The grin on Ian’s face was just growing.

** _Mickey: _ ** I see what you’re doing there but I’ll bite …habit of doing what?

** _Ian:_ ** texting strangers who give you their numbers on a piece of paper on the train. 

** _Mickey:_ ** only when they’re relentless and give me that piece of paper twice.

Ian thought long and hard about what he should say. 

** _Ian:_ ** well I might as well cut to the chase. You busy Friday?

** _Mickey:_ ** why?

** _Ian:_ ** Is everything a question for you?...are you busy or not?

** _Mickey:_ ** depends.

** _Ian: _ ** on?

** _Mickey: _ ** what you got in mind

** _Ian: _ ** dinner and drinks…on me

** _Mickey: _ ** free Booze and food? Can’t argue with that

** _Ian:_ ** great. It’s a date then.

Ian watched the text bubble appear and disappear for a couple minutes before the next text came through. 

** _Mickey:_ ** deal. But I get to choose where we drink.

** _Ian: _ ** you got it. See you tomorrow.

** _Mickey:_ ** Who says?

** _Ian:_ ** I’ve seen you on the train most mornings for quite some time now. Trust me…I’ll see you tomorrow

** _Mickey:_ ** Okay…2mrrow I guess.

Ian plugged his phone in to charge and then laid back onto his bed with a stupid grin stretched across his lips. This guy was gonna be the death of him, he could already tell.

***

_ What the fuck did you just agree to? _ Mickey asked himself as he laid down onto his bed that night. He could hear Gia and Jax in the room across the hall giggling and moaning, “Aye…I’m letting you guys sleep here so you won’t have to listen to Jax’s brother fuck his girl…that does not mean I wanna hear you two fuck,” Mickey yelled. They both broke into a chorus of laughter before calling their apologies leaving the apartment once again silent. 

Mickey wasn’t gonna text the guy -  _ Ian _ \- he wanted to, but he wasn’t going to give in to that temptation but then he kept replaying Jax’s words in his head,  _ Why not be happier _ and he kept asking himself what was wrong with settling down and he couldn’t come up with a valid reason. Maybe it won’t be with Ian, but he’s got to try with someone and Mickey knows and maybe he’s known for quite some time now that the life of hookup after hookup just wasn’t him anymore…maybe he wanted more.


	4. Is That A Euphemism?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so fun to write. There is just something about a flirty, confident Mickey that I love

The guy with the blonde hair and blue eyes was definitely one of the most beautiful men Ian had ever seen. He wasn’t as breathtaking as the short, black haired guy he had his arm draped over, but he was definitely something. He had the kind of look you’d see in a magazine with the beach curls that fell a little into his eyes while the sides of his hair were cut low fading downward. Despite the soft features of his high cheekbones and his plump pink lips, he had a hard exterior about him whether it be because of his sharp angular jawline or the amount of tattoos on his skin. The snowflakes creeping up his neck added a strange mixture of timidity yet roughness to him. Peeking out from beneath his jacket’s arm, Ian could see roses tattooed on the back of his hand. The same hand that was resting on Mickey’s shoulder. He didn’t know the guy and he shouldn’t be feeling the jealousy that he felt but maybe it’s because Mickey didn’t seem to mind the guy being all over him or maybe it’s because the guy was just so damn beautiful that Ian couldn’t help but be jealous because he knew he just couldn’t compare.

He shook his head of the thoughts and entered the train taking the seat opposite Mickey and his friend....friends. It’s just then Ian notices the petite pink haired girl who was leaning into the blonde guy’s other side idly on her phone as one of her hands were rubbing up the side of the guy under his T-shirt. “Hey,” Mickey called out making Ian look away from the girl.

“Hey,” Ian said softly giving Mickey a gentle smile. He really needed to quit this jealousy act because he hadn’t even had a date with the guy yet.

“Uh…Ian, this is my friend, Jax,” Mickey said while pointing to the blonde, “and his girlfriend, Gia.” He pointed to the pink haired girl who then looked up and shot Mickey a glare before biting, “So I’m your friend when I’m good for buying you food but when you introduce me to people he’s your friend and I’m just his girlfriend?”

Mickey rolled his eyes and laughed before turning to Ian, “My friend, Gia. Guys, this is Ian.”

“You must be the redhead I heard about yesterday,” Jax said, reaching his hand out while he removed his other arm from around Mickey. “Gotta say - pretty ballsy move giving him your number…first time I met him I thought he was going to shoot me in the skull if I stood too close.” 

Ian laughed as he shook the guy’s hand, “Yeah…it took me a while, I’ll admit.” 

“Anyway, kudos,” Jax said before Gia started showing him something on her phone. Ian then turned his attention to Mickey only to find the dark haired guy looking right at him with raised eyebrows as he bit his bottom lip. He was so damn attractive Ian just wanted to get up and kiss him right there. The entire train ride was spent with them both staring at each other with these teasing looks that only built the tension between them. 

When the train came to a stop they all climbed out and headed toward the stairs. 

“Where are you heading, Ian?” Jax asked as his arm around his girlfriend pulled her closer. 

“Misfits, round the corner,” Ian said, pointing in the direction he worked.

“You take the train all the way out here just to go to the gym?” Mickey asked as he slipped a cigarette between his lips.

Ian laughed nervously before scratching the back of his head, “Well, I work there, so yeah.”

“Oh, so you’re like a personal trainer then?” Jax asked, his eyes fluttering across to Mickey.

Ian’s eyes darted to Mickey too and he could see Mickey trying to discern what he looked like under his bulky jacket, he smirked a little before looking back to Jax, “Yeah, I’m a personal trainer.”

“Nice! That’s really cool man, well we’re just down the block that way at Anarchy’s tattoo shop,” Jax said, pointing further down the street. “It was nice meeting you,” Jax said, reaching to shake Ian’s hand again before he and Gia started down the street. Mickey seemed to be focusing intently on lighting his cigarette until his friends left.

“Personal trainer, huh?”

“Tattoo artist?” Ian asked with a raised brow.

Mickey nodded as he took a long drag of his cigarette, “Uh…you busy for lunch or…”

“No, I’m not busy,” Ian said way too quickly making him curse himself for sounding too eager.

“Well maybe we could meet up. The café on 3 rd has really good food. Text me and we’ll meet.”

Ian smiled, “That sounds great. I’ll see you then.” Ian smiled wanting so badly to just grab the shorter man and kiss him or hug him. Mickey smiled tight lipped before he awkwardly waved his hand before heading in the direction that his two friends had previously gone.

***

Lunch time couldn’t reach fast enough for Mickey. He was itching in his skin to grab his coat and walk the two blocks down to Jionni’s for lunch with Ian. Mickey had just finished the shading on the skull he’d been tattooing for a month now. It was a fairly large tattoo spanning the entire left shoulder blade of the college kid who just wasn’t good at taking pain, so he had to work in phases. Mickey wouldn’t boast, but secretly he thought it was one of his best pieces yet. “Yo, Mickey Mouse!” Jax called as he entered the needle room, rummaging through one of the drawers. “Hey, you see my technical pen? I could have sworn I last had it when I was in here.”

Mickey, unaware of any of the words his friend had said, continued packing away his tools and then proceeded to just stand there unbeknownst to Jax’s glare. A flick to the temple is what brought him away from planet Ian to earth. “Ow, fuck!”

“Where the fuck is your brain today? Have you seen my pen?” Jax asked again looking Mickey in the eye.

“Uh…yeah, I put it in your case before I started inking Sal,” Mickey said waving the blond off.

Jax stood there with furrowed brows with a gentle look of concern plastered all over his face. His facial expressions always seemed to contradict the rest of his body. He had a hard, menacing exterior, especially now that he had shrugged both his jacket and hoodie off and was wearing a black muscle tee that fell loose on his thin frame. The deep cut of the armholes exposed the ink that covered 90% of his torso. “Hey man,” Jax said, snapping two fingers in front of Mickey's face, “what’s going on?”

“Nothing. I’m just a little distracted that’s all.”

Jax leaned against the door frame, raising his blond eyebrows as he folded his arms against his chest. “Really? Does it have anything to do with Ian? You know that freakishly sexy redhead we saw this morning? The one you agreed to go on a date with?” Jax smirked at the creeping red blush that inched its way up Mickey’s neck.

“Uh...I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mickey said, tossing the tissues covered in ink into the trash. 

“Well, it’s almost 12 so Gi and I were gonna take a late lunch at 3 and not bother to come back in, so if you go now I could cover for you if you cover for us later,” Jax said.

“And How is that fair? I cover for you both?”

“Oh, come on! You always cover for us both.”

“Yeah yeah, alright. I’ll cover for you and your bitch so y’all can go get your rocks off.” 

Mickey laughed as Jax tapped him upside the head as they walked toward the common area. “Speaking of rocks…” Jax said softly, “I was wondering. If you’d be free this weekend. To go uh…rock shopping with me.” Mickey wrinkled his brows before they smoothened then started climbing high on his forehead while his eyes opened wide, “Seriously? You’re gonna ask her to marry you?” Mickey asked quietly. 

“Well, yeah man. I love her. I don’t really think there’s anyone else for me,” Jax said blushing.

“Okay…alright. I’ll go with you. Even though I completely disagree with the concept of the whole thing.”

“Yeah yeah, I’ve heard this argument a thousand times. Just you wait until you get a good dicking from Ian and then I’ll see you up at the altar.”

“Who’s gonna be up at the altar?” Gia’s voice rang out to them both as they entered the front waiting room.

“Uh…Mickey! With how smitten he is with that redhead.”

Gia smiled as she typed something into the computer, “Mickey, the gay Hugh Hefner? Right! I’d love to see that happen.” 

“Shut the fuck up! No one is getting married. I’ll see you two shitheads later,” Mickey said as he grabbed his jacket and headed out of the shop.

*** 

Ian was buzzing as he stood outside Jionni’s with a cigarette perched between his lips and his left foot shaking. Fuck, he could really kill for a beer right now, but he knew it wouldn’t mix well with his meds, so he settled for the slow satiated feeling the nicotine gave. 

“You waiting long?” Mickey’s voice sounded behind him, pulling his eyes away from the less than busy streets to see the black haired man strutting over, his dark leather jacket hugging his muscles. 

“No, just got here,” Ian said stubbing, his cigarette out and shoving his hands in his pockets. He looked at Mickey’s side profile as the brunette finished off his own smoke before crushing the butt with his boot. 

“So, how was your morning?” Ian asked as he pushed the café’s door open for Mickey to step in.

“Uh…okay I guess. Pretty busy. Yours?” Mickey asked, pursing his lips.

“It was kind of boring. They closed the gym today for an employee etiquette workshop.”

“Fuck that. Sounds miserable,” Mickey said, making his way to a booth along the glass window of the shop.

“This your regular spot where you bring guys when you wanna woo them?” Ian teased as he slid into the booth opposite Mickey. 

Mickey snorted as he steadied his elbows onto the table top, “That’s funny. You think I wanna woo you?”

“I don’t know…you tell me?” Ian asked feeling a bit of his confidence settle him.

“I don’t know. This is kinda a trial run for me. See if we’re still on for Friday. I mean, I can’t really go out with you if I can’t stand the way that you eat right?”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll be very satisfied with the way I eat,” Ian said with a wink just as the waitress came to set their menus before them. Mickey’s eyebrows climbed in surprise at Ian’s teasing. 

”You talk a good talk, huh?” Mickey said with a chuckle as he pushed his menu away. Ian’s eyebrows raised looking down at the neglected menu. “I already know what I’m gonna get. Same thing I always do.”

“Ah…so you’re a creature of habit then?” Ian smiled, “What else do I not know about you, Mr….shit, I just realized I don’t know your last name.”

“Smooth.” Mickey laughed, “Milkovich.”

“Milkovich,” Ian tried the name in his mouth, “That’s uh…Russian?” 

Mickey shook his head wiping his thumb against his lip, “Ukrainian.” He could definitely see it, the pale skin and crystal blue eyes. Ian let his eyes gaze over Mickey’s stark pink lips and the way it was slightly wet from when his tongue had passed over it.

“Hmmm,” Ian said thoughtfully, “I like it.”

“What about you? You aren’t gonna leave me hanging now are you?”

“Gallagher.”

“Hmm. I guess the red hair and green eyes make sense now.” 

“So you’ve noticed?”

Mickey was about to say something when the waitress came to take their orders. When she flitted away to the kitchen, Ian turned to Mickey clasping his hands in front of him. “So Mickey Milkovich, tell me about yourself. How’d you become a tattoo artist?”

“Oh we’re really doing the boring get to know me kind of date?” Mickey teased.

“Oh, humour me.”

“Okay…got these in juvie.” Mickey flashed his fuck u-up knuckles, “Seemed interesting, so when I came out I started learning. Probation officer insisted she enroll me in some art class for delinquents after she saw some of my art, that’s where I met Jax. We learned together. Then another unfortunate soul saw my art and got me the job at Anarchy.” 

“Hmm. Maybe you could show me your art sometime,” Ian said, looking intensely at Mickey as he soaked up every word he said.

“Is that a euphemism?” Mickey asked bluntly.

“I don’t know, do you want it to be?”

Mickey smirked shaking his head at Ian’s nerve. “Anyway, I’m hoping to open my own shop one day.”

“Well, I hope you go through with that.”

“What about you? Always dreamed of being a personal trainer?”

“Nah. This is just the in-between dream while I finish my degree.”

“College boy, huh?”

“Yeah. Was never a thing I thought about, but…when I figured out what I wanted to do after the army, I realised I had to go back to school. I’m in my final year.”

“Army guy, hmm, guess I could see it,” Mickey said, tilting his head to the side. “So, what is it that you want to do?”

“ROTC, I wanna teach it. I was pretty into it in high school, made junior lieutenant.”

“Hmm, sticking with a theme I see.” Mickey smiled still letting his blue eyes boldly take over Ian’s frame. 

“You’re totally picturing me with camo underwear on aren’t you?” Ian laughed with a quirked eyebrow.

“Well I am now!” Mickey laughed and Ian sensed himself feel a giddy, buzzed feeling at the sound.

The pair found themselves falling into easy conversation and Ian couldn’t laugh any louder if he tried. They both sat and talked and seemed to chat about almost any and everything until Mickey had to get back to the shop. He held the door open as Mickey exited the shop then turned on his heels with a grin plastered across his lips. “So, did I pass?”

“Hmm. I don’t know. You got a little...uh...You got a little something here.” Mickey swiped a thumb at the corner of his own lip causing Ian’s hand to dart up consciously to wipe at his lips. Noticing there wasn’t anything on his face he shook his head laughing lightly at Mickey. “Neat trick.”

Mickey shrugged, “I’ll uh…I guess I’ll see you Friday.”

“Maybe I’ll see you before. You know we do take the same train every morning.” Ian smiled tilting his head. “This was nice. I had a good time,” Ian said awkwardly, closing the distance between him and Mickey and pulling him into an embrace. Now, Mickey wasn’t much of a hugger, but he found that he liked the way Ian’s arms felt around him and he liked the way he smelled. 

“I’ll text you,” Mickey said walking backwards away.

“I’ll look forward to it, Mickey Milkovich.”

Mickey shook his head laughing as he turned, walking away down the street, only once shooting a glance over his shoulder to see Ian still standing in front of the café with a goofy smile on his face waving. 


	5. The Little Mermaid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit long and a mix of dialogue, inner thoughts and a bit of smut at the end. usually i would have made a separate chapter for the smut since it is the first time they are intimate but after this chapter there is a bit of a time jump so i wanted to add it here.

The week flew by quickly, filled with flirty texts throughout the days and stolen glances on the train every morning. So when Friday rolled around, Ian was more than excited to finally have Mickey alone for a couple hours to really just get to know him a little bit better. He probably checked himself in the mirror about five times before running his hand through his red hair that was starting to get a little bit longer at the top, and then made his way downstairs into the kitchen. Fiona was leaning against the sink scrolling through her phone while she waited for the casserole she was making to finish cooking. 

“Hey,” Ian called as he shoved his own phone and wallet into his pockets. 

His sister’s big brown eyes looked up with what only can be described as a mother’s smile stretched across her face, “You look nice. Like really nice. New shirt?” she asked, gesturing to the long sleeved white button down shirt he had paired with his black jeans. 

“Yeah…noticeable?” he asked, consciously looking down at his outfit as he stuck his feet into his black boots. 

“Not really. Only because I do your laundry,” she smiled. 

He looked up at her and could see the inner struggle his sister seemed to face almost every time he went on a date. She always had the “mama bird watching her babies fly out of the nest” look. “You okay on your own? Or do you want me to stay?”

“What? No! I’m fine. You’ve been looking forward to this all week. Liam and I are just gonna watch a movie and then head to bed.”

“No Debbie again?” Ian asked as he took his coat off the rack. 

Fiona shook her head as she read a text, “Well, won’t you look at that? Mike’s coming over. So go have fun.”

“Fi. We’re gonna have to talk about Debbie soon. When was the last time she spent a night here?”

“I just don’t want to push her okay? She needs her space.”

“Yeah, but what happens when that space becomes too much, huh?”

“I’ll talk to her,” Fiona said non-convincingly.

“Yeah while you’re at it, find out if the guy is over 18,” Ian said while shoving his beanie into his jacket pocket. 

“What are you gonna do? Beat him up? You and I were both with people over 18 when we were her age. Do you want to talk about that convenience store guy?”

“I couldn’t get pregnant. And I won’t beat him up…I’ll just rough him up. Maybe just call the cops on him.” Ian walked toward her kissing her forehead, “I’ll see you.”

“Have fun,” she called after him as he walked through the living room ruffling Liam’s hair and then heading out into the night. 

***

“Dude. You look fine,” Jax said from the couch as Mickey kept fiddling with his hair. “Would you stop messing it up?”

“Why are you so worked up? It’s like your second date,” Gia said as she plopped down onto the couch with a bag of chips.

“Tell me again why are you two here?” Mickey asked as he walked into the bathroom to gargle with mouthwash. 

“Because we’re good friends and wanted to give you the moral support you need,” Jax replied back. “Also, I wanted to nag you about the apartment upstairs.”

Mickey walked back out of the bathroom, shaking his head as he grabbed his wallet and slipped it into his back pocket. He looked up to see Jax watching him with a tilted head, “You’re seriously checking my ass out with your girlfriend sitting right there?”

“Oh fuck off, I’m not checking your ass out. Are you sure that’s what you want to wear?”

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” Mickey asked. 

“Dude you’re wearing a T-shirt with an airplane on it…how old are you? Twelve?”

“It’s a fucking great shirt and you know it,” Mickey groused as he slipped his black leather jacket on. He then picked up his set of keys and slipped two keys off, “Catch,” he called.

Jax caught the keys and then grinned widely. “I got them to remove Iggy’s name but mine is still on the lease. Only added Jax’s” 

“Why not just put both our names and remove yours?” Gia asked.

“Because the landlord has a $500 fine to remove the name okay? Jax and I paid half and half. Unless you wanna pay a next 500 anytime soon, feel free.”

“Okay, okay. Jeesh. I was just asking.”

“Okay, I’m leaving. So are you. Get out,” Mickey said as he stood at the door. 

Jax and Gia rolled their eyes as they got up and gathered their things to leave. Mickey moved from the doorway picking up the empty beer cans and snack packs they left lying around and throwing them in the trash while grumbling quietly.

“Have fun Mickey Mouse. We love you!” Jax smiled, “And hope you get some good ginger ass.” He winked before leaving through the door and shutting it. Mickey rolled his eyes before finishing tidying up. He folded the blanket on the back of the couch then gave his apartment a once over deeming it inviting and homey to bring someone to.

Shit, he was getting ahead of himself.

***

From the moment he stepped up to the restaurant Ian told him to meet him at, he could point out a few things about the redhead. One, he was a romantic. The soft classical music that floated out of the restaurant that Mickey could see had chandeliers hung and fancily dressed waiters bustling around was enough to pinpoint just what kind of date it was going to be. And usually Mickey wouldn’t really dig this kind of scene, but he genuinely liked what he’d seen from the redhead thus far. Two, the redhead who was strolling in his direction with a crisp button down shirt, slicked back hair, and a hundred watt smile was an easy giveaway that this date meant a fucking lot to him. Either that or he was really fucking cocky. And three, the timid blush that crept up along his freckled neck as he came closer to Mickey before he could let out a shy “Hey,” was enough to tell Mickey that the guy was actually more nervous than cocky.

“Hey,” Mickey greeted, dropping his cigarette to the sidewalk and stumping it out with his boot. “Ready to go in?”

“Yeah.” Ian smiled, letting his eyes boldly cascade over Mickey’s form, drinking in every detail. “You look really good,” Ian said before shyly blushing and looking down.

“Not so bad yourself, Red,” Mickey teased with a raised eyebrow before licking his bottom lip. “That uh…that a new shirt?” 

Ian’s blush intensified if possible and he let out what Mickey could only describe as a cute chuckle, “That noticeable, huh?”

“Nah…you just look like the type,” Mickey teased as Ian reached to open the door motioning with his hand for Mickey to enter. In doing so, Mickey somewhat froze in the doorway at how elegant the restaurant was. He felt incredibly underdressed but Ian didn’t seem to mind. It’s not that he couldn’t afford to eat at places like this, it’s just that he never found the need to, so he just never did. Ian came in almost crashing into Mickey’s back. “Whoa,” Ian said as his slim freckled hand braved itself onto Mickey’s hips leaving a tingling spark that travelled throughout Mickey’s body. 

“Good evening. Do you have a reservation?” A host asked as he approached them.

“Yes, table for two. Ian Gallagher.” Mickey looked up through his eyelashes as Ian smiled pleasantly at the host before turning his green eyes onto Mickey. Ian’s hand that was still resting comfortably on Mickey’s hip around his back squeezed reassuringly as Ian smiled at the host. Mickey couldn’t tell a soul why, but this was the most comfortable and at ease he had ever been with anyone. 

  
  


***

Ian was expecting Mickey to slap his hand away, but was pleasantly surprised when the tattoo artist willingly allowed Ian to keep his hands on him while they steered their way through the restaurant to their reserved circular booth. It was Ian’s first time at the restaurant and he’d dipped into his savings to be able to bring Mickey, but he knew it was worth it. This was the first guy he’d met in a long time who he’d actually wanted to go out on a date with. Nothing compared to the guys Fiona tried and unsuccessfully set him up with. 

He couldn’t help letting his eyes quietly fall on the wonder of Mickey Milkovich as blue eyes scanned the elegance of the establishment. “You really do look good,” Ian found himself saying. Seemed as though he couldn’t quite get a handle on his chill for the night.

“Yeah… you already said that,” Mickey chuckled. “So…how was your week?” Mickey leaned back into the red leather of the booth, one arm outstretched resting on the table while the other rested on the back of the seat just behind Ian’s head. Mickey had never before found himself wondering about another guy’s day or week or just about their feelings in general. It wasn’t that he was self-centred, but that he didn’t have or feel any kind of emotional connection with the men he’d hooked up with in the past.

“Pretty good. I mean, I did finally ask the mysteriously hot guy from the train out. And he may have flirted a bit with me over lunch, so I’d say all in all, it was a damn good week.” Ian smirked in Mickey’s direction, hoping to some higher power that he wasn’t coming on too strong.

“Flirted? Is that what you’d call that?” Mickey asked smiling mischievously as Ian nodded. The waitress came by then to take their meal and drink orders before leaving the men once more to conversation.

“So…tattoo artist. You mentioned over lunch that you got your first ink when you were in juvie. What seemed so interesting about getting Fuck U-Up tattooed on your fingers?” Ian asked inquisitively leaning a little closer to Mickey. 

Mickey didn’t seem to mind the redhead’s proximity one bit as he spoke. “Well, for one, I was kinda hoping I’d be able to fix the monstrosity that they are…I mean, it’s only after I got out that I realized how terrible they were. So I decided to learn.”

“But you never got rid of them.”

“Yeah, well when I showed an interest, Jax and I decided to learn together. His grandpa is the one who taught us both…anyway, he helped me clean them up a bit and I kinda just started liking them. Felt like they’re part of me. Helped me get to where I really wanna be…why erase them?”

“Hmm, who thought those three words would have so much meaning behind them?” 

“What about you, Southside?” Mickey asked cocking his head to the right. “You can’t be anymore than 22? Army enlistment is at 18…minimum is four years. I doubt you’d have enough time to serve a minimum and enroll in college in three years so…”

“So….” Ian dragged out with uncertainty.

“I guess what I’m asking is…what made you leave the army?” Mickey asked just as their food arrived. 

“You’re really intuitive,” Ian said looking down at his plate of food.

“I am. You don’t survive being the biggest gangbanger on the Southside’s son and not be intuitive.”

“Okay…I didn’t enlist at eighteen,” Ian said looking up through his eyelashes at Mickey. “I enlisted at seventeen with my brother’s name and social.” When the words left his mouth he was expecting Mickey’s demeanor toward him to change but the black-haired man just nodded in an intriguing way.

“Makes sense. How’d you get caught?”

Ian sighed looking away. This wasn’t how he’d expected to tell Mickey, but this was a date and they both wouldn’t be here if they didn’t want it to go places. Might as well go all those places with a foundation of honesty right? “Started showing signs of manic depression. Well…mostly the manic part. Did some crazy shit and then I went AWOL.”

“Fuck. Crazy shit like what?”

“Tried to steal a helicopter,” Ian said, finally turning to face Mickey, looking him in the eye, “Family found me…ended up back home for a bit before the depression kicked in. Spent some time in an in-house facility…that’s where I got diagnosed. Bipolar Disorder, just like my mom.” He looked down at his hands that somehow started to shake. It didn’t matter that that was all five years ago, telling that story never got easier, “When the army found me…they let me go when my sister provided the paperwork. They gave me a second chance.” The pale hand with a strong grip that came into view, clasped his shaking one tightly made Ian look up into blue eyes. 

“Sorry. Guess that was more of a tell-me-when-you’re-ready kinda thing…didn’t mean to push,” Mickey shyly replied.

Ian smiled gently before shaking his head. “No…the sooner you know the better. It’s usually the moment people choose to run for the hills anyway.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” 

“What do you do about it? Like, is there like treatment? Or therapy? I don’t know how those things work.”

“Yeah…I’m on meds that keep me mostly stable. Sometimes they may go outta balance, but they help. I also see a therapist once every two weeks. Working out helps me, yoga and meditation and stuff,” Ian said twirling his fork in his pasta, “but I’ve been stable for the last three years. Few med adjustments here and there, but I’m mostly good. Good enough to get through college, so...”

“So you’re almost finished with school then?” Mickey asked popping a fry into his mouth. The action of sliding the conversation so easily onto another topic without lingering so unceremoniously on Ian’s mental health made Ian’s fondness for the man sitting beside him grow tenfold. Ian hadn’t ever been on a date where a guy had taken his dependence on antipsychotics so lightly.

“Uh…yeah…I graduate a few months from now. Then I can start applying for training positions in the ROTC.”

“That’s cool man. You’re not that far off from your dream.”

“What about you? And your dream?”

Mickey’s cheeks grew red and Ian couldn’t help but think it was the softest thing he’d ever seen, “I, uh…I wanna open my own shop one day. You know…so I’m not working under people. I want it to have my own name and look. I want it to feel like me. I mean, feels like it’s a lifetime away, but it’s still the dream.”

“I’m sure you’ll get there. Sometimes the most unexpected things fall into our laps,” Ian said, gazing adoringly at the brunette who had no clue just how fast and how hard he was making Ian fall for him. The way his eyes lit up with passion and excitement as he spoke of his goal had Ian feel sparked with zeal and inspiration to push himself further toward his own dreams but also to want to get to know the man sitting next to him in whatever way he could.

***

Dinner went as well as can be expected. Mickey had found himself laughing more than he had in a long time and smiling so much his cheeks hurt. “So Gallagher…you ready for drinks?” 

“Yeah,” Ian smiled as both men reached for the bill the waitress placed on the table. 

“Come on man,” Mickey groused as Ian shook his head picking up the check he got to first.

“No, I invited you here, I’m paying.” He looked up to see the not so seriously grim look Mickey was giving so he tilted his head before chuckling then looking down, “You get the drinks.” The waitress then came back with the card reader . 

The cool air hit them suddenly as they stepped out into the night causing both pale men to redden at the noses and ears, “So....where to?”

Mickey smiled widely before tilting his head in the opposite direction, “Come on, this way.” He then started down the street not even looking back to see if Ian was following.

When he stopped at the first corner waiting for the traffic to pass by, he felt Ian close the distance between them. “You know, for a small man, you walk really fast,” Ian laughed breathing out heavily.

“You were blessed with long legs, Red. Use ‘em.”

They crossed the street and walked a couple blocks side by side until they came to another corner that they turned down. When they stopped, a bubble of laughter erupted in Ian’s throat when he saw the familiar red door.

“The Alibi?” Ian asked turning to look at Mickey. 

“Yeah…you know I’d have been content with the date just being here. As much as I appreciate the effort, the snooty restaurant just ain’t me,” Mickey said sincerely. 

Ian’s shoulders relaxed in relief as he looked over to the doorway, “Your train stop isn’t the same as mine so I wasn’t sure if you mixed with this side of town. I figured you might have judged me a little if I brought you to a place like this.”

“I may not live in the heart of it anymore, but it doesn’t mean I didn’t grow up here. Did you miss the part about me saying my dad’s a gangbanger? Dude, I’m a Milkovich. Shit like this is where I thrive,” Mickey laughed as he pushed the door open to the Alibi. 

“Mickey!” A few patrons called out when he entered. 

“Ian!” The tall, bearded bartender called as the two men walked in. 

“Hey, Kev.” 

“Now, what brings you and Mickey Milkovich into my bar together?”

“We’re on a date,” Mickey said proudly, causing a few drunk people to cheer loudly. 

“Man, you give me too many honors. First you come out at my bar, now you bring your very first date here.”

“Fuck off,” Mickey said with no venom behind it as his blue eyes twinkled playfully.

“Hey, you better take care of Ian. He’s family,” Kev said, cracking the caps off two ice cold beers and handing them to Mickey.

“Don’t worry, the Little Mermaid is safe with me,” Mickey laughed as he nudged Ian toward a quiet booth.

“The Little Mermaid? Seriously?” Ian asked as he slid in opposite of Mickey. “What does that make you? Eric?”

“I mean, the description fits right?” Mickey smiled. 

Mickey slid the beer across the table toward Ian. “Drink up!”

“I can’t really drink much…just letting you know. It fucks me up with my meds.”

“Okay…drink slow. One of those is gonna have to match two of mine.” Mickey laughed that infectious laugh making Ian feel like he was falling even faster. 

***

At 12:30, the two stumbled out the Alibi with their arms around each other after a couple hours of easy conversation and loud laughter. “Dude you got fucked up after two beers,” Mickey laughed.

“I’m not drunk,” Ian laughed as he stumbled almost falling face first into the curb. Mickey grabbed him by the arm to steady him as he looked on at the giggling ginger affectionately. Mickey felt butterflies in his stomach at the sight of his more than tipsy date and the sound of the man’s laughter.

Mickey had never before felt the things he was feeling in that very moment, he’d never gazed upon a guy wondering just what his lips would feel like or what he would taste like.

“So…” Mickey said closing the distance to Ian, letting his strong palm rest on the redhead’s hips, Ian’s breath fanning over Mickey’s face. Mickey looked deep into those green eyes and couldn’t help but get lost in them. “You’re kinda cute, too. You know that?” Mickey asked, his breath letting out frost in the cold night. Mickey let his right hand reach up to run freely through Ian’s red locks.

Ian hummed into the touch before looking back into Mickey’s blue orbs. Suddenly the world stopped. As fucking cliched as that sounds, the world paused on its axis the moment Mickey realised just how fast he could fall after one date. It was like a wake up call to Mickey, hitting him over the head with feelings he either didn’t know he could feel or that he just didn’t allow himself to feel. Ian’s eyes flicked down to Mickey’s lips and Mickey mirrored his actions letting his own eyes take in the sight of Ian’s pink, smooth lips. Ian’s head tilted slightly as he leaned in forward, slowly closing the distance between their lips. The moment their mouths became connected was the moment Mickey knew he was gone. He could see himself never wanting to feel any other lips on his or any other hair between his fingers because none of them would be able to compare to this. Mickey knew he’d never need the nameless hookups or the drunken sex in the bathroom of the clubs anymore. Ian’s lips, though new, felt like home. Mickey felt himself melt into the redhead’s hold and he didn’t want Ian to let go. He parted his lips letting Ian lick languidly into his mouth as Ian’s hands gripped tightly around Mickey’s waist. Despite the cold air, the two suddenly felt hot beneath their coats and in each other’s arms. 

They eventually broke away to gasp for air as they leaned their foreheads together. “You think it’d be too forward if I asked you back to my place?”

Ian chuckled, “Fuck no. I was wondering if you were gonna ask.”

***

The minute the door to Mickey’s apartment swung open, Mickey’s soft lips were hungrily latching onto Ian’s while his hand fought to shrug his coat off before moving to tug Ian’s off. He let his hand move to Ian’s neck feeling the warm skin thrumming beneath his fingertips while cold hands snaked up under the hem of his T-shirt grazing over his warm belly. 

He let Ian’s lips go to gasp for air as he pressed his face into the crook of Ian’s neck sucking at the sensitive skin. “Did I get a chance to tell you tonight that this is the cutest T-shirt I’ve ever seen?” Ian gasped against Mickey’s jaw before he nipped at the freshly shaven skin. Mickey was too far gone to even quip back a response. He reached his hands down to Ian’s hips hiking up the white cotton shirt and hooking his fingers in Ian’s pants. 

“Bedroom. Now,” Mickey said backing his way blindly through his apartment to his bedroom, pushing the door open and moving toward the bed. Ian tripped over himself trying to kick his shoes off causing both men to burst into a fit of laughter. “Come here,” Mickey said reaching for Ian’s cheek, slowing down their movements as he lowered himself to sit on the edge of the bed. He then pulled back from Ian’s lips reaching to undo the buttons of Ian’s shirt. Ian took charge stepping back and pushing off his shirt as Mickey yanked his own over his head and scooted back onto the bed until he got to the pillows.

Ian unbuckled his belt and let his jeans button go, pushing the fabric down his pale thighs as he looked longingly at Mickey, “Take your pants off.” Mickey scrambled to push his jeans off as quickly as possible, not taking his eyes off Ian. 

Ian climbed onto the bed crashing their lips together while Mickey’s arms locked around his neck. Ian kissed Mickey’s lips hungrily before kissing at his jaw and neck. He nipped tiny budding marks onto his collarbone and pectorals before moving further south. He nipped at Mickey’s soft flesh below his navel and then moved to repeat his actions against Mickey’s hip bones. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of Mickey’s boxers and pulled them down, freeing the other man’s painful erection. “Fuck,” Mickey whispered.

Ian licked a long stripe up Mickey’s length before taking him into his mouth and sucking down, giving Mickey his all. He swirled around the leaking head as tattooed fingers crept into his red hair tugging lightly as a chorus of moans escaped the brunette’s lips. 

“Shit,” Mickey cursed as Ian took him down until his dick pushed against the back of Ian’s throat. “How do you wanna do this?” Ian asked as he popped off loudly. 

Mickey shook his head as a laugh escaped his lips, he raised his head off his pillows looking down at Ian “I want you to get in me, that’s what.” 

“Turn over.” 

Mickey made it quick pushing himself up on his hands and knees, looking back to see Ian’s eyes grow wide at the sight.

“Got lube?” Ian asked suddenly.

“Top drawer.” Ian moved off the bed, dug through the drawer until he got what he was looking for, then rounded the bed, grabbed his jeans and got his wallet to retrieve a condom. 

“There’s condoms in there too you know?” Mickey said resting his head on his folded arms while his ass stuck out in the air.

“Yeah…I saw. They’re not big enough.” Ian climbed back onto the bed dropping the condom beside him and clicking open the lube. Once his fingers were coated he reached between Mickey’s cheeks and ran his slick thumb over his entrance making him shudder slightly. 

“Fuck…you gotta hurry,” Mickey moaned as he circled his entrance a few more times before letting his first finger dip inside. His fingers were long and did wonders for Mickey. Mickey would dream about those fingers after, he’d jerk off thinking about those fingers. “More.” 

Ian marveled behind him as he watched his second finger slip in beside the first being hugged by the tight ring of muscles. “Holy shit, you should see this? You look so hot,” Ian crooned before dipping his third in beside. 

“Come on, I’m ready,” Mickey urged wiggling his ass a little which only made Ian’s fingers slip in deeper until he was nudging at Mickey’s prostate. “Oh fuck.” Ian continued rubbing there until Mickey elicited a string of curses and was begging Ian. “Fuck…just fuck me, Red.”

Ian pulled his hand away and worked the magnum onto himself before slicking up his member. He shuffled closer on his knees until his hips were flush with Mickey and Mickey could feel Ian’s dick sliding between his ass cheeks. Fuck, it did feel huge.

Ian pushed the head down until it was nosing at Mickey’s entrance. He continued pressing forward until it was past the puckered hole. He stilled his hips as Mickey moaned out and he waited for him to adjust, “Keep going.” Mickey breathed heavily. Ian kept a slow pace, pushing until he bottomed out. The feel of Mickey’s warm skin against his hips sent shivers down Ian’s spine as he gripped Mickey’s waist and started rocking in and out slowly. When he was sure Mickey had adjusted, he pulled until he was almost all the way out and then snapped his hips roughly, punching out a yelp from Mickey. After that there was no going back. He quickened his pace, pushing into Mickey as he begged for more. Though it all felt too good and his knees were starting to kill him on the bed. He pulled out and sat back on his haunches looking at Mickey while panting for air. 

“Turn over…or you can ride me.” Suddenly Ian’s body was being pushed into the mattress as two strong legs straddled him and soft pink lips captured his own tasting him deeply. Mickey wasted no time reaching back and pressing Ian’s dick back into him. He sunk down slowly until he’d gone as deep as he could and then lifted himself up. He gave as good as he could take, rocking Ian’s world. Ian swore he was about to pass out with the pleasure he was feeling. The pleasure that only increased tenfold when Mickey leaned forward and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. “Fuck, Mick. Not gonna last.”

Mickey suddenly slowed his hips torturously slow as he cupped Ian’s cheek, “You’re not gonna last? What if I make you last?”

“Fuck, please Mickey. Make me come,” Ian begged which only spurred Mickey on making him quicken his pace. He reached between them to grip his own dick in his hands, but Ian reached too, slapping Mickey’s hand away. “Without it,” Ian rasped. Mickey groaned at the denial of attention to his neglected member, but sat snugly against Ian’s hips as he ground down in circular motions. “Ian…fuck I’m gonna,” Mickey moaned, spilling between them onto Ian’s chest. Ian held Mickey’s hips and then planted his own two feet on the bed before pushing up into Mickey relentlessly until he too was falling over the edge. His entire body shaking with his orgasm, he closes his eyes as Mickey kissed lazily at his jaw and neck. 

“Holy shit,” Ian whispered as they both came down from their high. Mickey rolled off Ian, collapsing beside him heaving heavily as Ian took the condom off and threw it into the little bin in the corner. “I can’t move.” Mickey lazily laughed as he grinned up at the ceiling. “I think I went to heaven.” Mickey laughed again as Ian grabbed a T-shirt off the floor and cleaned both their stomachs with it. 

Ian was sitting on the edge of the bed looking at the brunette who’s eyes were slowly closing. He was so fucking beautiful with his messy black hair and reddened skin. Those pink lips that were raw and swollen. Ian didn’t really know the protocol…was he supposed to leave? “Come back here,” Mickey moaned sleepily as his hand reached out for Ian blindly. Ian smiled to himself as he climbed back into bed, Mickey pulled him closer to his chest and Ian inhaled the scent that he had no clue he’d grow to love and perhaps miss one day. 


	6. Zen The Fuck Out

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that if the two men genuinely liked each other, there was no family holding them back from being together, and the sex was fucking fantastic, then they’d naturally be together. One month had passed since the first date and the two men’s lives were surely getting all wrapped up together and intertwined the way it normally would. They started hanging around each other more often. Sitting beside each other on the train every morning and evening and most nights Ian would stay over at Mickey’s. Ian was at that crucial point in his life where his last round of finals were closing in and it was his last shot at bringing up his GPA. So he started cracking down on his studying. He took less shifts at the gym and more shifts at home at his desk with his books spread out in front of him, so he was hardly seeing Mickey. 

He threw his pen violently at his desk after a couple hours of going at it while trying to hear his thoughts over his younger siblings playing downstairs. He needed to see Mickey. It’s the only thing he could think of that would make him feel a little better.

He grabbed his backpack and packed a few of his books and some clothing and his pills before he headed downstairs to find his sister and their neighbour V already halfway through a box of wine. “Hey sweet face! Where are you heading? We weren’t disturbing you were we?” Fiona asked already halfway drunk.

He looked at his sister and after the week he knows she had trying to juggle her not so new anymore job and be a parent to his younger siblings, he couldn’t bear to tell her she was being loud. After all it is a Friday night. Fiona had done everything she could for them, so if she wanted to unwind, it was more than deserved. For as long as Ian could remember, it was Fiona who always ensured they had a roof over their heads and food on their table whether it meant she had to drop out of high school at fourteen and take up more than three jobs a week or not. “No, Fi. I’m just heading over to Mickey’s. I haven’t seen him all week.”

“Okay. Well have fun. And you gotta bring him by one day. I could make dinner and we can get to know him.” 

“Okay…I’ll ask him.” He leaned down kissing her head and then glanced back upstairs. “Did Debs come home?”

“Yeah, she’s up there sulking because I took away her phone and laptop.”

“It’s worth it,” he said, squeezing her shoulder before heading out the back door. It’s much colder now that it’s November and he had to pull his parka ever closer as he walked toward his boyfriend’s place. Boyfriend? They have been going out for a month now so boyfriend is a safe word right? Neither of them had made any grand gestures to define exactly what they are, but Ian was pretty sure it was going in that direction.

He let his cold knuckles rap against the door that he could hear the muffled sounds of the television behind. He heard shuffling and then the chain lock slide out of place before the door was swinging open revealing Mickey in red and white striped boxers and an old black band tee. “Hey,” he smiled.

“Hey,” Ian said shuffling forward letting himself fall into Mickey who caught on quickly and held him.

“What’s wrong?” Mickey asked as his hands came up to run through Ian’s hair soothingly. Ian turned his face and nuzzled into Mickey’s neck, “Just wanted to see my boyfriend.” Mickey’s body stiffened beneath him and Ian thought he’d definitely fucked up.

Then Mickey’s chest vibrated as he chuckled, “Is that what I am, huh?” Ian straightened up looking down at the older man whispering, “If you wanna be.” Mickey smiled sweetly as he tiptoed to press his lips against Ian’s, “I want to be.” 

“Come in,” he said as he pulled his boyfriend inside and kicked the door shut. He led them to the couch where Ian let his body fall heavily into the cushions.

“You okay?” Mickey asked, climbing into the chair as close to Ian as possible and swinging his legs over Ian’s lap.

Ian nuzzled his face into Mickey’s neck almost purring as Mickey ran tattooed fingers through red hair, “M’so tired,” Ian said, “and it’s so hard to concentrate when the kids are always playing and then Fiona came home to unwind and I don’t wanna be the dick who tells her to go to bed early on a Friday night.” 

“You know…it’s just me here. You can come over and study and I won’t disturb you,” Mickey said into the quiet room.

“Really?” Mickey nodded. “You’re too good to me,” Ian said, kissing the side of Mickey’s neck and then inhaling the scent he’d come to love so much.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed,” Mickey said, getting off the couch, “you take your night pills yet?” Mickey asked as Ian shuffled away from the couch. 

“No, they’re in my bag,” Ian said sleepily walking toward Mickey’s room. Mickey smiled as he grabbed Ian’s bag and rifled through until he found Ian’s pills and then filled a glass of water before following his boyfriend. 

Ian swallowed them and drank the water down before he stripped off his clothes and climbed beneath the covers, “Just get some rest,” Mickey said patting Ian’s covered leg.

“Come here,” Ian said, stretching out his arms for Mickey. 

Mickey yanked his T-shirt off and climbed beneath the sheet letting Ian pull him closer. Damn his man was cute when he was being this needy. “Goodnight, Ian,” Mickey said laying a kiss against Ian’s parted lips but he was only met with the soft snores of his sleeping boyfriend.

***

The feeling was too fucking good to be just a dream.  _ Oh fuck, yeah definitely not a dream _ . Mickey opened his eyes to find Ian going to town on and all around his dick. He reached down brushing a strand of red hair away from his boyfriend’s face to watch how his pink lips wrapped around him.  _ Yeah…boyfriend _ . He has a boyfriend now. The thought alone got him more worked up making the warmth in the pit of his stomach grow. He felt as though Ian was playing with every single nerve ending in his body driving him to the brink and then pulling him right back down. His body shook as the pleasure overwhelmed him, making his vision go slightly black and hazy. 

“I feel like you just sucked the life out of my dick,” Mickey said opening his eyes and blinking away the speckles of white. 

Ian laughed as he crawled up Mickey’s body and let his weight rest on him, “Thank you,” Ian said pecking Mickey’s lips.

“For what?” Mickey asked furrowing his brows.

“For last night. And for being understanding even though I’ve basically bailed on you all week.”

“Hey. I want you to do well. You gotta study. Meantime you can do it here so I can ogle you while you infuse all that knowledge into your mind.”

“Ogle? You like what you see when you ogle?” 

“Fuck yeah I do,” Mickey said smacking Ian’s ass, “how’s it going though? Your studying?”

“Eh…I feel like no matter how much work I put in, I can’t remember anything or utilise what I’ve learned.” Ian rested his chin on Mickey’s chest and looked up at him, “Can I be honest?”

“Shoot.”

“I’m scared. Like really fucking scared. What if...what if I do all this and then I still can’t get the job I want?”

“You can’t think like that, Ian. But if that time comes, we’ll figure it out,” Mickey said unaware of how his words made Ian’s heart flutter. Ian blushed and beamed at him, “What?” Mickey asked.

“ _ We’ll _ figure it out? I like how it sounds,” Ian said shooting up to smack his lips against Mickey’s before he climbed off the bed, “Come on, let’s go get breakfast.”

***

It’s been two weeks of Ian studying at Mickey’s place and Mickey couldn’t seem to stomach how stressed out his boyfriend looked. He came home from the tattoo shop one day just after lunch to find Ian pacing the living room with a pencil tucked behind his ear, and he’s talking out loud to himself trying to remember what he’d just read. 

“Hey,” Mickey called. He hung up his jacket and walked over to Ian. He stopped Ian’s movements by grabbing him by his hips and turned him so he could plant a kiss on his lips. “Hey,” he repeated.

“Hey.” Ian smiled gently and Mickey saw it, he saw the way Ian’s eyes had dark purple bags below and his cheeks were slightly hollow. 

“Did you sleep? What time did you get here?” Mickey asked because his boyfriend hadn’t spent the night before. 

“Around 10,” Ian said, “Your landlord let me in.” He walked over to the counter leaning over his text book and reading while Mickey stood looking at him.

Mickey grabbed his keys off the counter and started fiddling with it but Ian wasn’t really paying attention. It was only when Mickey set a key in his line of sight that he looked up into Mickey’s blue earnest eyes. “For when I’m not here. My landlord isn’t always here so…” Ian held Mickey’s face in his hands before he leaned down to press their lips together. 

“Come on…close the book and go change into your running gear. I’ve got something I wanna show you,” Mickey said, smiling as he started cleaning up the kitchen counter. 

“Mick, I gotta study.”

“Ian…you need to take a break. Go change.” Ian nodded slightly before disappearing into the bedroom.

  
  


“Where the heck are you taking me? When you said throw on running gear I thought we were going for a run,” Ian said, peering out the window of Mickey’s car. “Also…if you have a car, why do you take the train to work?”

“Because it’s cheaper. Do I look like I wanna be frustrated behind my steering wheel in traffic before I have to go deal with a bunch of dumb fucks who can’t decide if they wanna have their mother’s name or the last slut they banged’s name on their chest.” 

Ian looked over at Mickey raising his eyebrows and taking in the sight of his boyfriend in his own workout gear, “I didn’t even know you had workout gear…I like it.”

“Of course I have work out gear…I do lift weights from time to time you know,” Mickey said as he continued the drive to the North side.

“You just got home from this side why are you driving all the way back?”

Mickey tightened his fist on the steering wheel before relaxing a little, “I saw something I wanna show you. Now can you stop pressing, can’t I surprise you like once?” 

Ian chuckled looking out the window, “Okay hot shot, I’ll wait.” Ian began fiddling with the radio and then tapped his fingers against his thigh.

“You know you gotta sleep right?” Mickey then added softly, “You’re under enough stress, you don’t gotta fuck up your sleep schedule any more.” 

“I know,” Ian said shyly, “I called my doctor yesterday to make an appointment.”

“That’s good,” Mickey said. He reached over to squeeze Ian’s knee lovingly.

They then pulled into the car park of Misfit gym. “You brought me to work?” Ian asked with a look of confusion as he looked at Mickey.

Mickey was nervously biting his bottom lip as he turned the car off and shifted to face Ian. “I, uh…the manager of the gym brought by some flyers for us to give out to customers and I saw they advertised a yoga class…I know you said on our first date that you like to do yoga and meditation and shit to relax yourself, so I signed us up,” Mickey said, pulling his lips tightly as he awkwardly waited for Ian to react. 

Ian’s face softened from a look of confusion to one of absolute adoration. His tired, sloping eyes lit up and his cheeks rose as his lips split into a grin that shined like the setting sun, “Aw, Mick.” He leaned forward holding Mickey’s face in his hands and pressed their lips together, “You’re the fucking best, you know that?”

He didn’t miss the way Mickey cocked his head, blushing as the red heat cascaded down his neck. “Okay tough guy, let’s get in there before you jump my bones in this tiny ass car.” 

Ian climbed out the car, shut the door, and looked over the hood at Mickey with a wicked, more lively look in his eyes, “Damn right, I wanna jump your bones.”

***

Five minutes into the class and Mickey was starting to think he made a huge mistake. He and Ian were somewhere in the middle of the classroom and Mickey was pretty sure the skinny soccer mom behind him was staring at his ass every time he bent over. Ian seemed to be really fucking into it, he didn’t seem to struggle to keep his balance and he definitely had no problem in the flexibility aspect. Now Mickey wasn’t saying he’s not flexible, and he’s sure Ian would testify that Mickey is fucking flexible when Ian’s dick is involved, but the lady leading the class currently has her back bent back in this perfect curve and all her abdominal muscles seem to be stretching all the right ways. Mickey is pretty sure that in a few more seconds he’s going to fall face first into the mat and his dick is gonna take a lot of the hit too. She’s crouching down now looking back between her legs, so Mickey makes his move to do the same thing. 

What does he find when the looks between his legs? The fucking soccer mom isn’t even trying to hide the fact that she’s not doing the yoga pose she’s supposed to do and instead she’s blatantly staring at Mickey’s ass. 

He glanced over to see if Ian’s noticed the woman, but he seems to be pretty zenned the fuck out. Mickey tried his best to focus on the stretch, but his body can’t really bend any further, and the fact that the woman is staring at his ass, and Mickey’s pretty sure the outline of his balls too, is making him really uncomfortable. “You fucking mind not staring at my ass?” Mickey asked, causing gasps and giggles to sound out through the gym room. The woman snapped her eyes away guiltily and Ian was finally pulled from his zone. He looked over at Mickey with a flash of amusement before whispering, “Mick. People can’t relax when you’re cursing up a storm.”

“She was looking at my fucking ass…your fucking ass,” Mickey whispered back, knowing that’ll get Ian on his side. Ian whipped his head back to look at the mom and gave her with an intense glare, “You mind not staring at my man’s ass?”

She whispered a quick apology before the instructor, whose name is Angela according to Ian, straightened up, “Thank you everyone for coming out today, I look forward to seeing many of you next week. Do stay safe and productive throughout your week. Daryl will be teaching your classes for the rest of the week,” she said before bowing and then gathered her belongings to leave. 

Mickey watched as the lady left the gym still wondering how the fuck she could make her body do the things she did, “Is she made out of jello? Like what the fuck? I’m flexible and I cannot do the shit she did. My fucking back is killing me now,” Mickey grumbled, making Ian chuckle. “Like my ass hurts. Why the fuck does my ass hurt?” Mickey then noticed the soccer mom was still looking at him. “That was not an invitation for you to stare at my ass.”

The soccer mom made it her business to not meet Mickey’s eyes as she grabbed her stuff and bustled out of the gym. Ian laughed as he grabbed his water bottle and took a sip. Mickey’s still looking at Ian and was biting his lips as he watched the way Ian’s neck and ears were red and had sweat dripping down his freckled skin. He felt like he could almost feel Ian’s pulse from where he’s standing. His eyes raked down Ian’s body and admired the way his light grey T-shirt was clinging to his skin with spots of sweat. Ian felt Mickey’s eyes on him and he smirked when he noticed Mickey’s gaze. 

“So can I get you back here in two days to do this with me again?” Ian asks.

Mickey’s face screwed up slightly before he gave in, “Not gonna lie, I fucking hated it…but I’ll do it with you.”

“I’m telling you Mick…you’ll grow to love it.” Ian wrapped his arm around Mickey’s neck and pulled him in for a hug, “Thanks, Mick…for this.”

“Anytime. But don’t think I’m gonna start meditating and shit, I don’t have the damn patience for that,” Mickey grumbled.

“You’re so cute when you’re grumpy, you know that?”

Mickey shot him a glare before they gathered their belongings, “You wanna hit the showers before we leave?” Mickey asked.

“No…I wanna get you home just like this,” Ian said as he wiggled his eyebrows at Mickey, who only laughed and shook his head as they walked out of the gym. Ian let Mickey get a few paces ahead before he tilted his head to stare at his man’s ass. 

“Can’t really blame her for staring at that ass, Mick,” he said as he jogged to meet his boyfriend. Mickey glared at him before shaking his head, Ian winked before smacking Mickey’s ass hard, “It’s a fucking great ass.”


	7. It’s Only You

Ian doesn’t know why it’s taken him this long to really notice just how close his boyfriend is to his best friend, Jax. But when he notices it two months into the relationship…he can’t find it in him to unsee it. 

He saw the way that Jax slung his arm around Mickey’s neck when they’ve had a couple drinks. The way he leaned into Mickey laughing loudly showing off his fucking beautiful teeth. Maybe Ian wouldn’t be this bothered by it if Jax wasn’t as beautiful as he is. He’s so painstakingly beautiful that Ian felt an insecurity he hadn’t felt in a long time. Gia doesn’t seem to be bothered in the slightest of how close the two men are. 

They’re all having drinks at the Alibi to celebrate Jax’s birthday and Ian doesn’t miss the way the blonde’s hand lingers on Mickey’s back while they’re getting more drinks. Gia was laughing her ass off with another one of the tattoo artists while Ian’s eyes lingered on Mickey. When he thought about it he couldn’t deny how much more beautiful his boyfriend was compared to him. He’s sure of it, even though he knew Mickey would argue that Ian was more attractive than him. He let his eye take in all the curves of Mickey’s features beneath his black leather jacket and the way his white wash jeans curved over his ass. 

Ian also knew that the brunette wasn’t just looks. He’d seen Mickey’s heart in the few short months they’d been together. He knew Mickey was attractive inside and out and he couldn’t help his insecurities from peeping out ever so often. In comparison, Ian considered himself spoiled goods, his bipolar disorder made him replaceable and far less desirable. There’s something special between the two men before his eyes and he knew he wasn’t imagining it. Maybe it was normal for best friends to be this close with lingering touches, but Ian wouldn’t exactly know since he never had a friend that close before. Mickey turned and came right back to their table setting a beer in front Ian and a bottled water in case he didn’t want to finish his beer. He looked at the wink Mickey flashed him and then he felt the heat of Mickey’s hand creeping up his back beneath his shirt. He forced himself to push the thoughts away and settle on the moment and how close his boyfriend was. To focus on the blaring fact that even though the blonde Adonis seemed close to Mickey, the brunette only seemed to have eyes for one person. 

A couple weeks later when he’d just finished his last final exam he decided to head straight to Mickey’s to unwind. He stuck his key into the door as he heard his boyfriend’s voice on the other side. Maybe Mickey’s on the phone. When he pushed the door open he found his boyfriend standing with his two arms in the air as he cheered his victory in Mario Kart. “Eat that, you assface!” Mickey cheered happily, making Ian smile. His eyes then fell to the blonde who’s sulking on the couch chastising Mickey for ‘cheating’. 

There’s an open pizza box laid out on the coffee table and a number of beer cans on the floor. Ian hung his bag up and walked further into the apartment. “Babe, d’you see that? I fucking smoked him,” Mickey said, pulling every inch of Ian’s attention away from anything else existing. Ian couldn’t find it in him to worry about what a mess Mickey had the place in, or that he was still wearing pyjamas, Mickey had just called him babe. He walked closer, smiling like a fucking idiot at the sight of Mickey and leaned over the couch to smack their lips together. “Hey,” Ian said softly against his lips. 

“Hey… how’d your exam go?” Mickey asked as Ian straightened back up and peeled off his jacket.

“Eh. It was okay, I guess,” Ian said shrugging, trying to play off the fact that he knew in his heart he’d aced it.

“Bet you did fucking good,” Mickey said collapsing back into the couch cushions. “We’re celebrating your last exam tonight! Anything you want!” Mickey shouted, indicating that he was a little tipsy from the beers he’d had.

“Anythiiiing?” Ian asked teasingly as he rounded the couch and sat down next to Mickey knocking fists with Jax. 

“Anything!” 

“Oh fuck, I guess that’s my cue to get the fuck out, huh? I don’t need to see Mickey’s ass!” Jax said, getting up to grab his jacket from the back of the couch. 

“Bitch, you’ve seen my ass! You used to want to see my ass all the time,” Mickey snapped while Jax shook his head.

“Not anymore, bitch! I got my girl’s ass alone to watch now.” He leaned over the couch hitting Mickey’s shoulder, then ruffled his black hair, “I’ll see ya! Don’t forget tomorrow we’re going ring shopping,” Jax said, heading to the door.

“Bye Ian! Bye Mickey Mouse!” he said before the door shut closed. Ian was still reeling from the revelation that Jax and Mickey used to be an item. Mickey threw the controller to the couch and moved to straddle Ian. “Hey,” he said softly once he was seated. He ran a hand through the short hairs at the back of Ian’s neck and Ian watched his every move trying to figure out how he’d missed it. Mickey leaned in and pressed his lips seductively to Ian’s trying to lick his way in, but Ian sat frozen. 

“What’s wrong?” Mickey asked, pulling back to look at the redhead.

“You…Jax is your ex-boyfriend?” he blurted, looking up at Mickey with a furrowed brow.

“What? Fuck no! He wasn’t my boyfriend!” Mickey exclaimed.

“But you fucked,” Ian said softly, it wasn’t exactly a question.

Mickey climbed off Ian and stood before him, “Yeah…we fucked, but that’s all it ever was.”

“Why’d you never tell me?” Ian asked , the hurt evident in his voice.

“Because it didn’t mean anything. We just hooked up for a while and then he told me one day that he liked this chick and was gonna ask her out so we stopped fucking. That was two years ago.”

Ian looked at Mickey, pulled his lips tight trying to figure out where that put him. Mickey saw the way Ian’s face softened, so he climbed back onto Ian. He held Ian’s face in his hands and looked deep within those green orbs, “You, Ian Gallagher, are my only boyfriend. The first ever…okay? I’ve never wanted anyone, not Jax, not the first guy who fucked me, not the guy who fucked me before you. I’ve never wanted any of them…I want you. Okay?”

Ian nodded, “Sorry,” he whispered softly.

“Don’t be. I was a dick for not telling you.” Mickey shrugged, “Can I kiss you now?”

Ian’s lips cracked into a smile and he looked up into his boyfriend’s eyes, nodding slightly, “Yeah.” Mickey leaned down and slotted their lips together giving Ian a taste of what he’d been craving all day, Mickey. He gripped Mickey’s hips, pulled him impossibly closer, and gripped tightly onto his hips, “Gallagher, are you jealous?” Mickey asked, nipping at the redhead’s jaw.

“Yeah…I fucking am.” He slipped his hands into the waistband of Mickey’s pajama pants and squeezed his fleshy globes, “This is mine,” he growled before flipping them pressing Mickey’s back into the couch. 

***

Mickey would have to be blind if he didn’t notice the way Ian twitched when Jax was around. He could see how Ian would get closer to him or touch his skin more often than not. And honestly, there really wasn’t anything Mickey thought he could do to help his boyfriend. It just boiled down to a trust thing. 

He woke up the next morning to Ian’s legs tucked between his own and his long freckled arm wrapped securely around Mickey. The redhead’s cheek was pressed into Mickey’s chest, pouting his pink lips. Mickey looked over at the alarm clock seeing it was just after eight. “Ian…hey…Ian.” He shook his boyfriend awake. 

“Hmm?” Ian hummed, turning his face into Mickey’s bare chest and inhaled deeply. 

“Get up. You gotta take your meds,” Mickey said, shaking his boyfriend again. Ian’s eyes fluttered open as he turned toward what Mickey would deem as his side of the bed now – reaching for his pill box. Ian counted them out, swallowed them with the bottle of water on the bedside table before laying back down and rolling back toward Mickey. Mickey let his eyes take in every move of his boyfriend’s naked body until he was snugly pressed against him again. 

“So…” Mickey drawled, running a hand through red hair, “are we going to talk about last night?”

Ian wrapped his arm around Mickey’s waist resting his head against his boyfriend’s chest where he could hear his heart. “What about it?” he mumbled.

“I don’t know…do the bruises on my ass not speak volumes?” Mickey asked. “Hey…look at me.” Ian turned his face, resting his chin on the brunette’s chest. 

“Ian, you gotta know it’s only you,” Mickey said softly because he got it. He got it completely, not feeling like you’re enough, not ever knowing if your body is all people are interested in. 

“I’m sorry,” Ian whispered, “I…I’ve never meant more than just a fuck for people…I’ll try, but it ain’t easy.” 

Mickey nodded, caressing the side of Ian’s face, “I get it. I do. But you just gotta know.” Ian nodded, pushing himself up to kiss Mickey’s lips. 

“What are your plans for today?”

Mickey scrunched his nose before saying, “I’m going ring shopping with Jax.”

“Right…” Ian said as he sat up, “well I’ve got a shift at the gym until six. You want me to get dinner or I could not…I could go home,” Ian said and Mickey could see him really trying. 

“No, I want you to come over. I could cook us something if you want,” Mickey said with a smile while he ran a hand down Ian’s back. Ian turned, and pecked Mickey’s lips before grinning widely, “I’d love that.”

He pushed off the bed and grabbed the towel he’d been using off the hook behind the door and wrapped it around his waist. “What’s the story behind Jax and Gia anyway?” he asked as he headed into the bathroom. Mickey got off the bed and headed in the same direction where he found Ian leaning over the sink putting toothpaste on the toothbrush he’d brought over. 

“What do you mean?” Mickey asked moving to the toilet to take a well awaited piss.

“I just mean like…did you know he was bi when you were hooking up, or?”

“No actually, I always thought he was gay and then Gia started working at the shop and he kept asking if I thought she was pretty or whatever. So that’s when I asked since when he was bisexual because I never got the vibe, you know? But he’s the kinda guy who just…and I quote, ‘likes what he likes and there’s no need for a label’, so I just never bothered to question it.”

“He seems to really love her,” Ian said after spitting. 

“Yeah… I mean I don’t get it…she could be kind of bitchy and she cheated on him a year into the relationship, but he seemed pretty whipped if you ask me…well at least enough to forgive and want to marry her,” Mickey said as he picked his own toothbrush up. “He insists I help him shop for a ring for her, but somehow I just feel like it isn’t gonna be enough for her.”

Ian rinsed his mouth and leaned back against the counter looking at his boyfriend, “If he’s your best friend and you feel that way about her, why don’t you tell him?”

Mickey dipped his head to spit before looking up at Ian, “Because he loves her, man, my opinion shouldn’t matter.” Mickey then finished brushing his teeth while Ian turned the shower on to heat up. 

***

He’s pretty much tired of looking at rings and they’ve only been to one of the three stores in the mall. Mickey had probably seen twenty-five rings so far that he thought were suitable enough and in his best friend’s budget, but Jax insisted that they weren’t ‘the one’. The minute they walk into the second shop the jeweller looked them both up and down, taking in the sight of both their tattoos, “Hi, I’m looking for an engagement ring for my girlfriend,” the blonde said smiling. The jeweller hed a finger telling him to give him a minute. Jax then shifted his attention to Mickey.

“So, did you get plowed last night?” he teased making Mickey roll his eyes before blushing deeply. “It’s kinda nice to see you so happy, it’s either you’re falling in love or he has a really good dick,” Jax commented, earning him some hard glares from another customer.

“Can you stop talking about his dick? And my ass? He found out yesterday after that ass comment that we used to fuck,” Mickey said as he propped his elbows on the counter.

“Yeah? Did he freak out?”

“Kinda…I mean, I would too, you’re always at my place man. He says he trusts me, so I guess it’s something with him, not me.” 

The jeweller then came over to them and showed them a tray of rings and Mickey found himself barely paying attention. He’s thinking about Ian and what he could do to reassure him that he only wants him. “Mick, this is it,” Jax said, holding up a silver ring with a tiny black onyx stone at the centre. 

He smiled encouragingly, approving while his mind went right back to the redhead. 

“You know I can talk to him if you want. Let him know that I don’t want your ass,” Jax said as the jeweller packaged the ring. 

“Nah, that’ll just make shit worse if he knew I told you.” 

“Yeah, you’re right. But the offer still stands.” 

Mickey then fished his phone out texting Ian to just let him know that he’s thinking about him and he’s looking forward to that night because if it’s one thing, Mickey really wants this to work out. He’s starting to feel a fire in his chest that only seemed to be ignited when Ian stepped into his life. 

***

Ian turned over in bed beside Mickey, reached out for his waist but his hands landed on Mickey’s knee. He popped an eye open to see Mickey sitting up beside him against the headboard with a journal propped on his left knee that is folded up. His lips were pulled into a pout of concentration as his hand holding a pen moved in short strokes against the page. “You’re up early,” Ian croaked.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Mickey said, glancing at Ian before going back to his drawing.

“What are you drawing?” Ian asked. He turned onto his back and propped his hands at the back of his head.

“Hold on…I’m almost done.” They sat in silence until Mickey eventually stopped drawing and then ripped the page out of the journal and handed it over to Ian. “For you.” 

Ian grinned sheepishly as he took the page in his own hands, “Holy shit…I love it,” he said, looking down at the bald eagle in flight holding a rifle with its claws. “You know it’s crazy how well you know me in such little time.” Mickey plucked the drawing from Ian’s fingers and placed it on the bedside table below the journal. He then turned over and climbed onto Ian hovering over him. His blue eyes were intense and searching before he kissed Ian with force, “You know I really fucking like you right?” Mickey asked into Ian’s neck once he’d settled against him.

“I really like you too,” Ian whispered, his arm tightened around Mickey. 

“I just hope you know that.” Mickey sighed into Ian’s arms, “It doesn’t matter who came before, it’s just you now.” 


	8. Live a little, Share a little

He knew he’d been staying more time than necessary at Mickey’s, but it’s the only place he’d rather be at any given moment. On a Monday night he decided to stop at home to pick up some clothes where he found Fiona sitting at the dinner table with her head in her hands and dried tears staining her face. “What happened?” he asked as he dropped his bag at the bottom of the stairs and sat down next to her. She looked up in a startle before shaking her head and wiping her face.

“Nothing. I’m good,” Fiona lied. Ian glared at her with raised eyebrows before looking her dead in her eyes and demanded she didn’t lie because that’s one thing they never did with each other.

“It’s just…you’ve been really happy lately. I don’t wanna take that away from you.” 

“Just tell me what’s going on. Is it money? I’ve got a paycheck to collect at Misfit tomorrow so that could cover bills.” 

“It’s not money. It’s Debbie,” Fiona said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Is she okay? Did something happen? Why didn’t you call?” Ian said getting up and pacing, “Where is she?”

“She’s in her room. I took her to the clinic today.”

Ian’s eyebrows furrowed with worry, “Is she okay?”

“She’s pregnant. And she refuses to get an abortion,” Fiona said.

Ian stopped pacing as he looked on at Fiona. He knew having another kid in the house wasn’t going to be easy, but he also knew that when it came to things like this Fiona can get controlling, “Well it is her body and her baby…she has the right to refuse.”

“She’s too young Ian. She’s fifteen years old. She’s still a child.”

“You were still a child when you started taking care of all of us.”

“Yeah and look where I am in life, no education besides a GED and I can barely hold a job down.”

Ian looked sympathetically at his sister as he sat back down again beside her, “You’ve got that cup job now. You’re doing good.” 

“Yeah but I’m not doing good with the kids. I’m pretty sure Carl sells drugs by the corner and now Debbie is pregnant, I don’t even wanna know what’ll happen to Liam.”

“Nothing is going to happen to Liam. Sorry I haven’t been around.”

Fiona shook her head and rested her hand on his, “No, it’s okay Ian. You’re happy, don’t apologize. If it’s anyone who owes us an apology it’s Frank, Monica and Lip.” The mere mention of his brother tended to sour his mood since he hadn’t seen him in almost three years. Lip left for college and well, he never came back.

“I just came by to get some clothes but I think I’ll stay and head over to Mickey’s tomorrow night instead, might be good to spend some time with the kids.” She didn’t fight him on it because she knew she wouldn't win. So Ian got up from his place at the table and headed upstairs. He looked into the boy’s room to see Liam and Carl already fast asleep. He shuffled further down the corridor and stopped at Debbie’s door and knocked before trying to open it, but the door was locked, “Debs?” he called out but he got no response. He went back to his own room where he flopped his body down onto his bed before sending a quick text to Mickey.

** _Ian:_ ** Sorry can’t make it, spending the night with the kids and Fi

** _Mickey:_ ** everything ok?

** _Ian:_ ** Debs is pregnant.

** _Mickey:_ ** so I take it not okay… miss you

** _Ian:_ ** Yeah not okay. I miss you too. See you tomorrow.

** _Mickey:_ ** boss called to tell me a new tattoo artist is coming in for their first day tomorrow…guess who has to train them :/ 

** _Ian:_ ** aw…I’ll give you a massage after. 

** _Mickey:_ ** I should be the one giving you a massage ;) or did you forget what tomorrow is…

Ian sat up abruptly in his bed as he was suddenly reminded that his exam results would be in tomorrow. 

** _Ian:_ ** shit I did forget. 

** _Mickey:_ ** don’t worry, you’re going to do great. I gotta go to bed because I have to be in early tomorrow to train the rookie. See you on the train?

** _Ian:_ ** no I don’t work tomorrow but I’ll be at your place when you get home. Goodnight Mick <3

** _Mickey:_ ** Night, Red.

***

The next day Mickey walked into his apartment while Ian was sitting at the counter on his laptop while he waited for the oven to finish the pizza rolls he’d been making. Mickey was grumbling and muttering to himself as he hung his coat up and kicked his shoes off.

Ian swiveled on his stool and turned toward Mickey who still hadn’t stopped grumbling. When Mickey turned around to see Ian he finally stopped and tilted his head to the side. “C’mere,” Ian said, making grabby hands at him. Mickey shuffled closer despite the pout on his lips and glare in his eyes. Ian grabbed him by the hips once he was close enough, pulled him in between his legs and wrapped his arms tightly around him. Mickey’s eyebrows climbed high in challenge before his face softened and Ian leaned in to slot their lips together. He pulled back and rested his forehead against Mickey’s breathing out, “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Why are you so grumpy, mm?” Ian asked, nuzzling his face into the side of Mickey’s neck.

“Because I have to train the new guy. So he’s always shadowing me and shit, feel like I’m back in Juvie.” 

“How long?” 

“Three weeks,” Mickey pouted, before sniffing the air, “is that pizza rolls?”

“Yup…figured you’d be hungry. Also...my results are out and I was waiting for you to get here before I open it.” Ian looked up into his boyfriend’s blue eyes before pecking his lips. 

Mickey stood beside Ian while he logged into his school account, rubbing a hand up and down his back only to stop and squeeze his neck on occasion. “You got this,” Mickey said, pressing a quick kiss to the side of Ian’s head. 

“Okay, here we go,” Ian said, as the page loaded and he started scrolling down. They both hunched over reading before they simultaneously muttered, “Holy shit.” “Holy fuck.”

Ian didn’t know if he was dreaming or if he was actually looking down at a full A profile report, “I called it! I knew it!” Mickey exclaimed startling Ian. “I told you, you were gonna do good! Look at that shit!” Mickey grabbed Ian’s face and pressed a heated kiss to his stunned lips. Ian’s lips split into an excited giddy smile as all the worry and anxiety slipped away easily. 

“Thanks,” he whispered against Mickey’s lips before kissing him again, “for believing in me.” 

***

Ian’s chest heaved as Mickey pressed down on both his hands right beside his head as his hips worked overtime. Long freckled fingers gripped tightly to Mickey’s hips as they came down repeatedly. Loud groans and moans escaped Mickey’s lips as he pushed himself up and climbed off, rolling onto his back. Ian surged off the bed, situated himself between Mickey’s legs and lined up before plunging back into his lover. He looked down into Mickey’s blown out pupils that had darkened with lust and passion and everything around him seemed to slow down. It was usually what happened when he got Mickey on his back and he was looking down into those eyes. His hand came up on instinct, cupped Mickey’s face, his thumb dragged down and pulled at Mickey’s bottom lip. His hips slowed their pace and he ran his other hand down Mickey’s chest feeling the heat and sweat radiating off his body. His beautiful pale skin glowed under the lamp’s yellow light.

He ran both of his hands down the length of Mickey’s body squeezing at his thighs and ass before he placed them on both sides of Mickey’s head and leaned down. His lips followed the languid pace of his hips, latching onto Mickey’s mouth and licking his way in. Mickey moaned a subtle plea before his arms wrapped tightly around Ian’s back. Mickey bit down on Ian’s bottom lip causing Ian to unexpectedly topple over his pleasure precipice in a chorus of loud moans and a yelp. He collected himself quickly, removed himself off Mickey, and climbed down lower until he was eye level with Mickey’s leaking swollen member. He wasted no time taking his boyfriend into his mouth, pleasuring him until Mickey whimpered and pulled at red strands of hair begging for a release. His entire pale, muscular body shuddered involuntarily as Ian pushed him over with his boyfriend’s name on his lips. Ian swallowed him down and soothingly licked at him until Mickey was spinning with overstimulation.

“Holy shit!” Mickey cursed, laughing, his belly full before he sat up and reached for a cigarette. 

Ian laid his head into Mickey’s thigh for a moment before he pushed himself up and sat beside Mickey against the headboard. “Fuck.” 

“That was supposed to be a quickie, now how am I supposed to walk to the bar?” Mickey asked. They were set to meet up with some of the guys from the tattoo shop while Ian agreed to hang out with Kev at the bar. 

“I could carry you,” Ian joked, plucking the cigarette from between his boyfriend’s lips. 

“Yeah right, you sure you didn’t pull a muscle just now?” Mickey laughed before getting off the bed, “Come on tough guy, we’re not meeting anyone smelling like cum.”

***

The bar was its regular upbeat self when they got there later that night. Kev was laughing loudly the moment he spotted Ian and Mickey. They sat and drank while Kev gave them the low down of the recent bar crawl that had graced his bar the day before. Jax and Gia came strolling in twenty minutes later with a couple guys from the shop, only two Ian recognised as Milo and Enzo. The drinks were flowing and laughter echoed throughout the bar. Mickey got up from their booth to get them both more drinks when a lanky tattooed guy stumbled into their booth across from Ian. He had very slim features that his Nirvana muscle tee hung loosely against. He had brown curly hair that looked too soft for his hard exterior. 

“You must be the boyfriend,” he said, pointing with the hand that grasped at his beer bottle. 

“That I am,” Ian said through a tight lipped smile. 

“That going on long?” he asked, his light brown eyes looking milky and soft but framed by intense glaring eyebrows that hung low. 

“Well, it’s been-” Ian began but was quickly cut off when Mickey came back and placed two beers onto the table and slid in next to Ian until he’s pressed up against him and his shoulder was tucked under Ian’s arm that was stretched along the backrest. 

“I see you two have met,” he said, flashing Ian a million dollar smile that made Ian’s heart flutter.

“Not really, no,” Ian said getting lost in crystal blue eyes. 

“Well Ian, this is Gus…short for August, the new guy that I’ve been plagued with training. August…this is Ian, my boyfriend,” Mickey beamed proudly. And even though Ian could feel Mickey’s pride radiating off him he couldn’t shake the feeling that prickled the back of his neck when he watched the way that August looked at Mickey. And he knew he probably sounded like a paranoid insecure piece of shit who overthinks any guy who dares to glance at his boyfriend, but that wasn’t true. He’s introduced Mickey to some of his friends at the gym and none of the gay ones gave him this vibe. Ian knew he was slightly jealous of Jax but he’s mostly jealous of the closeness he shares with Mickey, Jax didn't look at Mickey this way. 

He felt almost sick to his stomach at the way August was blatantly eye fucking his boyfriend right in his presence. “Mickey!” Milo called from the bar counter where he and Kev were making a bet. Mickey grinned unaware of the tension sitting at the table and pecked Ian’s cheek before heading toward the wager. 

“As I was saying…it’s been-,” Ian was once again cut off when he began setting down his camp to mark his territory.

“I don’t really care, man. What’s the sense in being gay if we’re all locked down by relationships and straight people policies. Live a little, share a little,” he said, winking before sliding out of the booth and heading toward where Mickey and the other guys were standing. 

Ian sat stunned and evidently angered, he looked up from the table top to see Jax looking at them with furrowed brows before his eyes followed the path of August. Ian didn’t know how long Jax had been looking and he didn’t know what he picked up from the conversation, frankly Ian didn’t care. He just knew he needed to get out of there. 

It felt like hours that he sat glued to his seat before Mickey came back over, “Hey, Jax said you aren’t feeling too good. Let’s get outta here,” Mickey said, clapping Ian’s back, “I’m sick of these fuckers anyway.”

Ian tried to force a smile and shake off what had happened, “You don’t have to leave you know.”

“Nah, we got better shit to do. You okay? Are you tired or something?” Mickey asked as they started to leave. Ian looked around to see August standing by the pool table watching their every move. “Jax didn’t really say what’s up he just told me you said you’re not feeling too hot.”

The logical part of Ian’s mind looked over to Jax who’s sitting at the bar with his arm around Gia’s neck. He nodded at Ian once and Ian finally understood. They both knew what would happen if Mickey found out what August’s play was. Not that Ian cared if August got his ass handed to him, but he did care what would happen to Mickey if the cops caught him in a fight. “Uh…just my head. Let’s go,” he said, throwing his arm around Mickey’s neck and headed out the bar trying his best to forget what had happened and to will his feet to not go back into the bar and deck the son of a bitch.


	9. A Rite of Passage

Mickey was visibly sweating where he sat trying his best to not look nervous. He’s sitting on his usually comfortable couch that currently felt like it’s made from gravel and he can’t stop fidgeting. He could hear the faint sounds of Ian in the bathroom showering. He’s been ready for a minimum of ten minutes and he’s already sweat through two T-shirts. Surely meeting your significant other’s family shouldn’t be this terrifying, right? 

Mickey knew better than to feel completely relaxed. He’d heard Ian talk about his family, he’d seen the way Ian’s eyes lit up when he’s relaying all the crazy scams and outrageous tales of his childhood. He’d seen Ian’s mood a little more chipper on the days something good happened for one of them, like when Liam made Ian a drawing he’s really proud of. Mickey had stared down the relief in Ian’s eyes when he found out Carl wasn’t one of the five boys the cops held on the corner for selling coke. He’d heard Ian’s muffled sniffles as the redhead worried about his pregnant teen sister. And he’d seen Ian go without so he could pay the bills Fiona couldn't seem to cover. Mickey knew what Ian’s family meant to him, their approval was important. 

He heard the bathroom door open and then shut, followed by ruffling through Mickey’s drawer. He let the familiar sound of his boyfriend rummaging through his clothing for something to wear calm him, hoping that by the time Ian stepped out of the bedroom he wouldn’t notice the fear in Mickey’s eyes. Ten minutes later the redhead came strolling out the bedroom in his own black skinny jeans and rocking Mickey’s old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles T-shirt. 

“Hey, how is this so big on me?” Ian asked looking down at the T-shirt, “Your shirts usually fit.”

“That was when I was uh… a little bit bigger. I used to lift weights more often a couple years ago,” Mickey said, getting up and clearing his throat. Ian looked at him with a beaming smile, “Ready?”

Mickey nodded, grabbing his car keys and wallet off the kitchen island. “Hey, you okay?” Ian asked crowding his space resting a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m great,” Mickey said, trying his best to smile.

“You don’t gotta be worried, you know…they’ll love you,” Ian said, pecking Mickey’s lips, “and if they don’t then they can fuck off.”

“Yeah right, you’re just saying that. I know what their opinion means,” Mickey said, turning away 

Ian turned Mickey to face him again and held his cheeks in his hand, “Not when it comes to you, alright?”

Mickey tiptoed as high as he could and pressed his lips into Ian’s before they both left for the Gallagher house. Setting foot back in the heart of the Southside was like dousing himself in all the old memories. They flooded his system making his shackles go up and his eyes darted around observantly. He doesn’t live that far away but he’s stepped away mostly from the full brunt of it. His new neighbourhood is different even if it’s only a few miles away. Ian’s home was strikingly exactly what Mickey pictured when he told him where he lived. Mickey remembered passing by the house almost everyday growing up. “You know my dad always used to say that there were like a hundred of you living here,” Mickey said as he pulled toward the curb and put his car in park. 

Ian smiled as he turned in his seat fixing Mickey with an amused look in his eyes. “What?” Mickey asked.

“I think that’s the first thing you’ve ever told me about your family. Well except for the few details about Mandy,” Ian said, but he quickly regretted it when he saw the way Mickey clammed up.

“Uh…we’re not close,” Mickey said as he opened his door and climbed out of the car leaving Ian stunned and sitting there in regret. Ian shookoff the feelings and was out the car before Mickey could notice. He skipped toward the metal gateway and led the way to the brown front door that’s been weathered through the years and the paint was peeling off. 

He swung the door open, stepped in and gestured for Mickey to follow. When inside they both hung their coats up and toed their shoes off before venturing further into the house. “This is it. Mi Casa.” Ian smiled with outstretched arms while standing in the middle of the living room. The outside of the house looked a lot like what Mickey was used to when he grew up; old, withering and fragile. But within, the walls were the polar opposite looking a lot like what Mickey spent time dreaming his own home would be. The walls were all painted with no dirt marks or dried blood. There weren't any chunks of drywall missing, and there was actual carpeting on the floor that sat below what looked like a very cozy green couch with knitted blankets and a few throw cushions, much unlike the dinged, busted up couch with cigarette burns and lumpy seating that ached Mickey’s back throughout his childhood. There was a mantle with pictures of all the siblings framed throughout their life. The coffee table was slightly cluttered but with crayons and drawings instead of guns and drugs the way Mickey had grown up. 

“Wow…it’s…nice,” he said, letting eyes fall on the piano under the stairs sitting under a clutter of books and a lamp. 

“You know that’s not really true,” Ian said, his eyes falling shyly. 

“No seriously, man. It’s peachy compared to what I had,” Mickey said nonchalantly as he walked further behind Ian into the kitchen. The homey smell only amplified as the sweet aroma of a casserole and muffins permeated the air as a curly haired brunette stood up in front of the stove, shoved off her oven mitt and tucked her wild hair behind her ears. 

“Fi,” Ian called, startling her slightly causing her to jump then burst into a fit of laughter that looked so warm and inviting as she pulled the redhead into a tight embrace that seemed so motherly. “Hey sweetface,” she said, pulling back and cupping Ian’s freckled face. Mickey looked away as he felt the sense of intrusion on the motherly love. 

“Fi, this is Mickey. Mickey, Fiona,” Ian said, stepping out of his sister’s arms and gesturing between Mickey and his sister. Mickey felt his lips curl into a soft smile as she grinned widely pulling him into a hug. Yup, definitely felt like a mother’s arms. “Welcome to the crazy Gallagher family,” she said as she pulled back. Mickey could see now just how beautiful she was. Her big doe eyes shined with absolute joy even though he’s heard Ian wax poetic about the sacrifices his sister had to make and how hard her life has been. He could clearly see how life and situation had aged her in her young years sparking tiny crows feet at the corners of her eyes. “It’s very nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you, Ian won’t shut up.” 

Ian blushed in his sister’s direction as he chastised her for spilling the tales of just how whipped he is for Mickey. “Fi…come on. Where’s Debs or Carl or Liam?” he asked, looking up the steps that led away from the kitchen. 

“Liam just took a bath and insisted he got dressed himself, so he’s upstairs. Carl is…” she sighed heavily, “Carl is I don’t know the fuck where. And Debbie refuses to come out of her room,” Fiona said. 

“I’ll go get her down,” Ian said, skipping up the steps leaving Mickey standing awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen.

“So Mickey…Ian tells me you’re a Milkovich,” she said sternly.

“Uh…yeah,” Mickey said, rounding the counter to take a seat at the table. “That a problem?”

“Well, if you’re anything like your father then yeah.” Her soft motherly glow had disappeared and a mama bear was out in full swing.

Mickey chuckled as he shrugged his shoulders, “You think if I was anything like him I’d be head over heels for that one?” Mickey asked, pointing up the stairs that his boyfriend had disappeared up.

“Guess not,” she said, as she brought over the casserole and placed it in the center of the table. “Sorry”

“Look, I get it. He’s told me that you’ve practically raised him, you’re just looking out for him. If it makes you feel better, I haven’t seen my old man in over six years. I have nothing to do with him.”

“It does,” she said, resting a hand on his shoulder, “and I can’t…I can’t imagine what it must have been like growing up under him being the way you are.” Mickey knew what she meant and by the lack of pity but utter sincerity he could hear in her voice he knew she’d seen sides of Terry or at least heard stories. Mickey nodded as he felt the heaviness sink into him while he desperately tried to will Ian to come down the steps with his mind. 

***

Ian felt guilty that he hadn’t been home on the regular to help Fiona out with their younger siblings. He sometimes felt anger and resentment toward his older brother when he thought of all the ways in which Lip had abandoned them. He knocked lightly on Debbie’s door and he waited. No answer.

“Debs, open up it’s me, Ian,” he said trying again. Soon enough the door unlocked and opened. He stepped into the room that was once very pink and childlike, but now gloomy with the darkened posters and bedsheets. “Hey,” he said to his little sister. Debbie had grown rapidly in the past few months in more ways than physically and Ian wondered if he’d been around more rather than working and back and forth with Mickey and school if he’d have been able to prevent his little sister from being pregnant now. He looked at her still young face and still saw a child, the one he read bedtime stories to and changed her diapers. 

“Hi,” she said, taking her seat back in bed with her covers around her.

“Fi says you’re not coming down.”

“I’m not really in the mood to pretend like everything is okay.” Ian sighed as he lowered himself to the bed sitting at her feet. 

“I get that. But…I brought Mickey over because I really wanted him to meet you guys. He’s really special Debs,” Ian said evidently blushing. “Forget Fi. Do it for me?”

Debbie looked down to where her hands were intertwined in her lap and her mouth twisted to the corner. The thing about the Gallagher family, they didn’t really have their parents, so when it came to each other they had to be there and pick up wherever they saw the other falling short. So instilled within all of them were little fractions of parents’ instinct that helped them all gauge just how off balance one of them was. And no matter that his siblings were getting older now, he can still tell when something wasn’t being said. 

“You aren’t feeling well are you?” he said, bending forward to take a closer look at her face, “you’ve been having morning sickness a lot?”

She nodded her head, slowly looking away. 

“Have you been to the clinic since you found out?”

She shook her head saying no. “Fi won’t go unless it’s to book an appointment for an abortion.”

Ian nodded, sighing, “Okay, I’ll take you tomorrow. You need to be getting prenatal and all that stuff if you’re sticking with this.” 

Her red brows furrowed as she tried her best to hide the excitement that was so evident in her eyes, “You’re going to help me through this?”

“Debs, I don’t have to agree with you, but I still love and care about you. I want you to be healthy. And if this is really what you want then…I’ll try my best to support you. Heck I’ve done crazy shit before and you’ve been there for me, you all have. So yeah, I’ll help you.” Because he knew all too well what it was like to not feel like he had control over his body. He’d never make her do something to her body that she didn’t want.

And just like she would when she was younger she launched herself herself into his arms locking her arms around his neck and burying her face in his shoulder. 

“Come on, let me introduce you to the guy I’m pretty sure is the man of my dreams,” Ian said, scooting off the bed.

***

The conversations at the dinner table were rolling around comfortably, Ian was laughing his ass off, Mickey was cracking unintentional jokes that had them all doubling over, and Debbie and Fiona seemed to forget the tension between them for the night. Everything was fine and dandy until Carl walked in through the back door with a four inch gash across his forehead and blood seeping down the bridge of his nose to his jaw. 

“Holy shit. What happened?” Fiona questioned already up and out of her seat ready to investigate. 

Carl ignored her and headed into the downstairs bathroom to retrieve the first aid kit. “Carl!” Fiona yelled, “who did this to you?” Everyone at the table froze at Fiona’s booming voice, but Carl shoved passed her into the kitchen and plopped the first aid kit onto the counter. He headed over to the washing machine where Fiona’s purse sat and started rummaging through. “What the fuck are you looking for?” He grabbed his item of need and held it up to her face before heading back to the counter with the compact mirror Fiona carried around in her bag. 

“Am I talking to a fucking wall here? Where the hell have you been?” Mickey felt chills down his spine as her stern parent voice implored to be answered. 

“Out,” he said while he attempted to patch himself up. 

Fiona started rambling as she let loose her disappointment and worry on her younger sibling. Trying her best to get through his thick skull that he’d apparently inherited from their father. Carl remained unmoved until Ian got up from the table and walked over to Carl. 

“Carl.” Mickey felt his eyes snap up to where Ian stood. He’d never heard Ian’s voice sound the way it had before. He sounded tired and disappointed. Even Fiona stopped talking. Carl finally stopped and looked up to meet his brother’s eyes. Mickey looked on as the tension grew between the brothers, Ian drawing closer and Carl retreating within himself. “Don’t make things difficult.” 

Ian grabbed the alcohol soaked cotton and took over, handling Carl by his chin roughly before he started cleaning the wound. Fiona sighed heavily. “How many times are we gonna go through this, Carl? Are you even going to tell us where you were?”

Carl seemed fixed on ignoring his sister until Ian gripped his chin firmer and intensified his glare. Carl withered under his brother’s gaze resulting in a shrug and a whispered, “I was hanging under the L.”

“With?”

“A couple guys from the corner. Fuck I don’t see why it’s such a big deal. You act like you’re holier than thou but everyone here knows you’re the worst of us!” Carl yelled before knocking Ian’s hand away and storming off. 

Fiona’s jaw clenched and her eyes began welling up while the words still floated heavily in the air. “Fuck,” Fi whispered.

“Fi, we just gotta give him some space. You know he doesn’t mean it.”

“He’s right though,” she said. Mickey sank into his seat as he realized just how fragile the family was. They may seem to be put together and a collective unit, but they were hanging on by a thread. 

“I think I should go,” Mickey said, rising from his seat. 

“Mick,” Ian moved toward him, “Please don’t.”

Ian’s eyes seemed redder now like he was on the verge of crying his heart out. And Mickey couldn’t find it in him to leave Ian like that. He nodded and sat back at the table as the awkward silence stretched on.

“We gotta do something,” Debbie then said.

Fiona looked toward her with questioning eyebrows, “I don’t think you really have a place to say anything about Carl fucking up his life.”

Debbie shot Fiona a glare that mirrored the one Ian had given Carl. “Just because I’m having a kid doesn’t mean I’m fucking up my life, Fiona. At least you don’t have to be worried about me ending up in juvie.”

“Debs…why don’t you go upstairs. I wanna talk to Fi,” Ian said. Debbie got up quietly taking herself up the stairs with Liam in tow. Ian sat down at the table beside Mickey and he told Fiona to sit. Fiona let out a wry laugh as she sat, “Bet you’re finally realizing how fucked up we are, huh? Think of it as a rite of passage,” she laughed cynically.

“I’ve seen worse,” Mickey said with a smile..

“What the fuck am I doing? I’m fucking up their lives,” Fiona said with a groan.

“Fi, we all know none of us would survive if it weren’t for you. But maybe now we stop trying shit your way. We do it mine.”

“Which is?”

“Okay…let Debbie make her own decisions. You’re no better than the politicians who tell women what to do with their bodies if you force her to do something she doesn’t want to. This is her decision to make. You remember when I had to make a decision about treatment? Remember what you told me?” Ian’s hand then moved to Mickey’s legs gripping on like he needed some kind of pillar of support. Mickey let his hand rest on the back of Ian’s neck soothingly.

Fiona nodded slightly and let her eyes flicker to Mickey, almost asking if Mickey knew about Ian’s disorder. “Yeah, I know,” Mickey said.

“You told me Fi, whatever decision I made you would support me even if you didn’t agree. That’s what we’re supposed to do. Support each other. If she has the kid I’ll help her out as much as I can, it won’t be all on you.” Fiona seemed to mull it over for a few minutes before relenting.

“Fine. What about Carl?”

“I’m thinking let him learn the hard way, but I don’t wanna see him end up in prison if he doesn’t learn.”

Mickey then thought of something despite feeling like he was intruding on the siblings conversations. “Uh…can I suggest something?” Both siblings looked over to him with furrowed brows before Ian’s lips smirked. 

“Well, I mean you’re seeing our rawest sides now…why not?” Fiona said looking at him expectedly.

“Let me talk to him.”

“What?”

“Yeah. I mean I know he doesn’t really know me, but I’ve been where he is. Except I went to juvie. I’ve seen how that place can make some people better or it can fuck people up even more.” 

“I can’t expect you to take the respon-”

“I think it’s a good idea,” Ian said, “maybe Mick can give him some insight. And if it doesn’t work, we let him learn the hard way because he’s only going to continue to rebel.”

“Okay…uh when will you be able to do it?”

“I can go now, you know.”

***

Mickey took the directions Ian gave and went up the stairs and down to the last bedroom. The walls were plastered with posters of all kinds and there were three beds against the walls. Carl was sitting at the desk by the window with a joint between his lips. 

“That shit still needs to get cleaned,” he said pointing to the gash on Carl’s forehead.

Carl looked up with reddened eyes, plucked the joint from between his lips and gave Mickey a once over, “Who the fuck are you?”

“Mickey Milkovich. Ian’s boyfriend.”

“Ian’s dating a Milkovich?” The young boy’s eyebrows shot up.

“You got another first aid kit or do I gotta go back downstairs to get it?” Mickey asked walking further into the room, ignoring the fact that Carl had in fact heard of his family.

Carl skeptically slid the desk’s bottom drawer out and pulled out an emergency kit with ROTC printed on the box. Must’ve been Ian’s. He sat on the twin sized bed closest to the teenager and began to use the supplies to clean the wound. 

“Nasty bruise you got.”

“Yeah. A glock’ll do that to you.”

“Oh I know…been on the receiving end before.”

“How’d you get out?” Carl asked his voice sounding oddly small.

“I went to juvie. When I saw the inside of the place I knew I didn’t wanna end up back in there or prison, so I screwed my head on straight.”

“What do you do now?”

“I’m a tattoo artist. I work on the Northside not far from where your brother works.”

“You here to convince me to get out?”

“No. I’m here to tell you, that you don’t gotta do it. Whether you do or not, that’s up to you. But there are other options out there other than guns and drugs.”

Carl looked away as Mickey continued cleaning his cut and bandaging it. “Yeah…whatever you say,” he muttered.

  
  


***

When Ian led him up the stairs later that night and into his bedroom, Mickey didn’t protest about getting back to his own place. He let the redhead drag him to bed and strip his clothes off before pushing him into the softness of the mattress. The room was smaller than he expected with an accordion style door that didn’t lock. Ian climbed onto the bed and curled his arms around Mickey, and secured his head against the brunette’s chest. “Thanks for tonight,” he whispered, “Maybe you could introduce me to your fucked up family and we could swap war stories,” Ian joked. 

“Yeah…that sounds…like a plan,” Mickey said, hoping Ian didn’t hear how much he didn’t want Ian to meet his family. 

“You sure? You don’t sound so keen,” Ian laughed.

Mickey sighed as Ian turned his head to look up at Mickey. “Honestly, I’m not. I don’t introduce people to my family because I don’t talk to them. I’m not close to them like you guys are. It’s just…no one meets them,” Mickey said, shrugging. Ian nodded, “Okay…what about Mandy?”

“I’d love for you to meet her…but I haven’t seen her in five years. Not since she left with her piece of shit boyfriend who used to hit her…I’m not even sure she’s alive.” 

“Oh…I’m sorry, Mick,” Ian said burying his face in Mickey’s chest. “Well, you’ve got family here now.”


	10. Don’t Say I didn’t warn you

It’s limitless pride that swelled in Mickey’s chest when he looked at Ian standing on that stage as he collected his degree and switched his tassel to the other side. He’s sitting between Fiona and Debbie and they’ve all got huge smiles plastered on their faces as they cheer on the tall dorky redhead. If anyone had ever told Mickey that he’d be in a somewhat healthy relationship for five months, he’d have thought hell had frozen over. And it’s not because he didn’t want those kinds of things, but it’s because he never thought there would be someone he felt so connected to. Someone who would accept Mickey for who he is. Mickey was slowly realising as the days went by just how deep into this he was for Ian. He might even love him but for the fear of fucking it up, Mickey pushes it down to the back of his mind vowing to take each moment as it is.

They had lunch at Ian’s favourite diner with his family, sitting and chatting and pretending they all didn’t have their own problems to deal with. Mickey could see Ian still had all his worry lying under the surface, but when those pink lips split into a beaming smile, Mickey thought that Ian would be just fine. 

Two weeks after his graduation Mickey and Ian sat on his living room floor filling out job applications to the Loyola Army ROTC Department of Military Science. He could see the nervousness plastered across Ian’s face and he could tell he doubted he’d get it at all. 

“You gotta stop worrying,” Mickey said, walking into his bedroom later that week and plopping down beside Ian. “You’re gonna get it.” 

Ian smiled as Mickey scooted closer, “Thanks. But that isn’t the only thing on my mind.”

“What is then?”

“Debbie and Carl...I feel guilty for not being able to help more. Carl’s still selling you know?”

“Yeah…look I talked to him. You talked to him, there’s only so much talking that can be done. He’s gonna have to learn it the way I did. You just gotta hope he doesn’t get worse. And Debbie…yeah she’s fifteen and 4 months pregnant but she seems to really know this is what she wants, maybe it won’t be so bad,” Mickey said comfortingly as he wrapped an arm around Ian’s waist.

“Talk to me about something else. Distract me,” Ian said.

“Ahhh…okay. That new worker is finally getting the hang of things. He’s working on his own mostly now so I get to go back to moving at my own pace.”

Ian stiffened noticeably under him so Mickey sat up abruptly, “What?”

“Uh…I don’t really like that guy,” Ian said avoiding Mickey’s gaze.

“Why not? He’s alright,” Mickey said nonchalantly.

“He totally has the hots for you,” Ian said with a straight face even though he’s avoiding Mickey’s eyes.

“Are you serious? Man come on. First it was Jax and now Gus? Come on, Ian,” Mickey said sounding exasperated.

Ian shrugged, “Look I don’t wanna fight okay? I just don’t trust the guy.”

Mickey settled back beside Ian and laid down the other way with his back toward the redhead. “Mick. Don’t be a bitch. Turn around,” Ian said tugging at Mickey’s shoulder until the brunette laid down on his back. Ian climbed over him until they were face to face. “I trust you. I just don’t like him. Jax…I was a little insecure about how close you guys are, but I’m okay with it. It’s gonna take me awhile to be as confident as you are. So bear with me?”

Mickey melted at the honesty in Ian’s eyes as he nodded and hooked his hand around Ian’s neck to pull him into a kiss. The three words felt so close to the tip of his tongue, but it didn’t feel like the right time. Or maybe it was the right time and Mickey was being a coward.

***

Ian collected Mickey’s mail on his way in two weeks later, as he strolled in from his morning run. Mickey was still sound asleep in his bed when Ian began breakfast like he usually did. As he waited for the coffee to finish he stood rifling through the mail, since he’d put Mickey’s address as his own for all his job applications simply because Fiona read all his shit before he could. 

  
  


> _ Ian Clayton Gallagher  _
> 
> _ Loyola Army ROTC Department of Military Science _
> 
> _ Mr Gallagher, the Loyola Army ROTC Department of Military Science is pleased to offer you the position of Junior ROTC Instructor at our Department’s Institution located in Wyoming Michigan... _

His heart began to leap for joy as he ripped the white envelope open to examine its contents. He got the job…but in Michigan. He was finally offered the job he’d worked so hard to get, Junior ROTC instructor, but it was in Michigan miles away from the man he was sure he was falling in love with.

All his life, Ian’s family told him he was a runner. He ran from all the problems he was faced with and even ran when things were too good. Every relationship he had in the past that was seeming to steer in the right direction, Ian would cut it short and run and his excuse was that it didn’t feel right. He was now standing in his boyfriend’s kitchen wondering if he’d run enough. Maybe he didn’t need to run anymore. He walked to the doorway of the bedroom and let his eyes fall on Mickey’s sleeping frame and how at peace he looked, Ian’s been dreaming of this for far longer than his ROTC dream but he hadn’t worked as hard to get it. He stuffed the letter into his backpack as Mickey began to stir awake and Ian had the notion in the back of his mind that maybe he didn’t need the job as much as he thought he did. Maybe all he ever needed was right here. Maybe he was done running.

***

“Mick! It’s been fucking months since Gia and I moved into Iggy’s place and I still can’t get the fucking smell out. I don’t remember him smelling like that in person man. Your dad, yeah but fuck the smell makes my throat itch,” Jax said as he sat on the couch beside Mickey as they played video games later that week. 

Ian’s ears perked up from where he’s sitting on the recliner with a book in his hand, reading up on teen pregnancies because Debbie told him she felt lonely and like she can’t talk to Fiona about it so he’s trying to become knowledgeable. “His dad?” Ian asked.

“Yeah man, the man fucking reeked. Did he ever take a shower Mick?”

Mickey looked up into Ian’s eyes and Ian can tell Mickey knows what he’s thinking, “I don’t know man. I barely showered back then.”

“Wait…you’ve met Mickey’s dad and brother?” Ian asked marking his page and setting his book down. 

Jax was none the wiser of the tension growing between the couple, “Yeah. I used to hang around the house a lot. Even knew Mandy for a hot minute before she fucked off with Kenyatta.”

Mickey noticed the way Ian’s jaw clenched as he got up and stormed into the bedroom. 

Ian’s sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands when Mickey came strolling in. “He’s gone…so you can yell now.”

Ian stayed quiet as he sniffled softly and Mickey knew he’d fucked up. “Is it that I just don’t matter or are you ashamed of me?”

“What?” Mickey asked sitting beside Ian, “Are you … what? No, Ian. It’s the opposite of both those things.” 

Ian stayed quiet waiting for Mickey to explain, “You matter, so much. And you keep not seeing this all for what it really is. I’m protecting you. When Jax and I met and he hung around we weren’t even hooking up so it wasn’t a risk…and then it became one but I didn’t give a shit back then because he and I were close but we didn’t feel for each other…we were careless and we both paid for being careless. Jax and I got too comfortable and we were fooling around and my dad came home. He beat the shit out of both of us. He thought we were dead. My big brother Iggy came home and found us lying in our own blood and he got us help. And I moved out. I haven’t been back there since. I expected Jax to fuck right off after that because we were hardly friends then. The whole thing kind of brought us closer I guess. But it was never what you and I have. I don’t want you to get hurt if I take you home. My dad will literally kill us.” 

“So it’s not that you don’t matter, Ian. You really fucking matter. And if Mandy was around you’d have met her a long time ago. But she’s not. Iggy too but he’s in prison. I don’t know what happened to you in your past that makes you so insecure but you gotta see I’m not like those people who treated you like shit.”

Ian leaned into Mickey wrapping his arms around the brunette’s waist, “I used to dance at the Fairytale in Boystown when I was manic. All I was good for was a fuck, a handjob or just something to take advantage of. That’s all I ever was. Every guy I’ve tried to have a stable relationship with cheated and then I got on my meds and then I only chose the overpowering type who would knock me around. I’ve never chosen good guys. But I did with you and I just don’t want to lose you.” 

Mickey laid a soft kiss to Ian’s forehead and tightened his arms around him, “I want this to work, Ian. You’re gonna get your dream job soon, and I’m gonna own my own shop and we’re gonna be just fine.

Ian knew now he couldn’t accept the job offer because it just wouldn’t be right.

***

Mickey could feel Jax lurking behind his back as he set up his room to work that day, sorting out his needles and ink and wiping down the bench. “You gonna say something or stare at my head all day?” Mickey asked roughly. Jax walked further into the room with pursed lips and hands stuffed deep into his pockets.

“Did you and Ian fight? I didn’t mean to say that stuff about your family man. I know you don’t like talking about them.”

“We didn’t fight. I told him the truth of how shit went down back then and we’re good so don’t worry about it,” Mickey said as Gus came into the room with a paper cup of coffee and a bright smile. “Morning, Mickey. Brought you coffee, just how you like.” He beamed before bouncing out the room. Jax rose one perfect blonde eyebrow.

“I’d be careful if I were you.”

“Fuck is that supposed to mean?” Mickey asked whipping around to look at his best friend.

“I’m just saying, Gus has the hots for you, you should be careful. Ian’s a great guy who really cares for you and he’s already a little insecure, I wouldn’t go giving him reasons to feel that way.”

“Now you sound exactly like Ian. Gus is just trying to make friends. He’s new in town, just being friendly.”

“If you say so Mickey Mouse. But I’m pretty sure the night you introduced them to each other Gus told Ian something that had him feeling as uncomfortable as push pins inside your underwear would feel. Ian didn’t say he wasn’t feeling well that night…I just told you that so you’d get the guy out of there because he looked like he was either about to punch something or burst into tears. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya,” he said walking out the door then doubling back to stick his head in, “By the way, I can’t make it to Milo’s birthday party tomorrow.”

“Yeah? Why not? The guy has been planning it for like the whole fucking year.,” Mickey asked yanking a new box of gloves from the cabinet evidently ruffled by his best friend’s confession about that night.

“Well I’ve been planning my thing for a really fucking long time too. Tomorrow is the only day I could get the restaurant reservation.”

“Tomorrow, huh? Enjoy your last day of fucking freedom,” Mickey shot back as Jax flipped him off and left Mickey to turn over the words in his head to figure out what could Gus have possibly said to Ian. 


	11. What About Us?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit angsty...prepare yourselves.
> 
> P.S I'm sorry.

The music was thumping through the walls of Milo’s townhouse, vibrating through the glass windows and sending tremors through Mickey’s skin. He and Ian rolled in to what Milo deemed the most awaited party of that year. Mickey could feel his skin sheathed with a thin layer of sweat and heat that radiated off the grinding bodies around them. He leaned into Ian’s hold on his hips and there was the sound of laughter like a chorus of angels ringing in his ears as it flowed from Ian’s lips. This was his favourite version of Ian. Stress free and relaxed. Mickey chugged the last of his beer and turned toward Ian pressing the palms of his hands to Ian’s chest. The redhead’s green eyes were slightly blown and Mickey could already feel the intoxication settling in his blood. 

“You look so good,” Mickey said leaning forward to nip at Ian’s pulse point. Ian’s giggled under the touch and pulled Mickey’s hips closer to his.

“You’re drunk,” he whispered as he kissed the skin below Mickey’s ear, “Let’s dance.” 

“Mm?” Mickey asked as he distractedly kissed Ian’s neck. 

“Come on,” Ian said pulling Mickey’s hand in the general direction of the ‘dance floor’ and wrapping his arms around Mickey’s waist from behind and pulling him into his space. Mickey groaned audibly as his ass pressed against Ian’s groin and the redhead started rotating and rolling his hips into him.

“Fuck, I don’t dance, Ian,” Mickey protested despite rolling back into Ian and tilting his head as the redhead kissed along his neck.

“You’re dancing, Mick. And you look so good doing it.” Ian’s hands were everywhere running up and down Mickey’s sides and around his body. The buzz of Mickey’s beers began to wane and he’s starting to feel very conscious even though no one was paying mind to them. 

“I need a drink,” Mickey said and Ian understood so he loosened his grip on Mickey and nipped his neck once more before telling him to meet him back there. Ian remained in place throwing his hands up carelessly and rolling his hips into the air. This was Ian’s kind of scene, and he’d missed being able to let himself go this way. 

It’s only when he thought it was taking Mickey too long to get back did he go in search of him around the large town house with his phone in hand waiting to dial Mickey if he had to. The first place he headed was into the kitchen where he saw it. Mickey was laughing wholeheartedly while nursing a beer and August was in close proximity leaning onto the counter and chatting away with Mickey. 

“Hey, Ian,” Mickey said, “sorry I came to get a beer and Gus just got here so we started talking. He’s telling me about this new tat he’s started on his back.”

Gus smirked in Ian’s direction as he rested his beer down and turned, hiking up his shirt and pulling the waistband of his jeans down to show his right asscheek. “I was showing Mick it. What do you think Ian?” Ian looked over the floral design and he knew he was seething with anger. 

“So you were basically showing him your ass, huh?” Ian said dryly. 

Gus started to laugh as he shrugged, “Guess you could say that. Bet he liked it though right?”

Mickey furrowed his brow but then relaxed figuring this is just how Gus banters, “If you say so.” Ian stepped close in Mickey’s space, placed his phone down on the counter and wrapped his arms around Mickey’s waist and nuzzled his neck boldly, “You coming back to dance?” 

Mickey almost moaned into Ian’s touch as he (and I kid you not) fucking giggled, “Mm, I can think of something better to do with my hips.”

“Do I get in on that hip action?” Gus spurred stepping closer to the couple.

Ian tensed and his eyes darkened noticeably while Mickey sarcastically laughed, “Yeah right, that’ll be fun.” And Ian knew in his heart that Mickey was being sarcastic, but it didn’t help the flame of anger from igniting at the way Gus looked Mickey up and down like it was some kind of invitation.

“See, Ian. Your man doesn’t sound so opposed to sharing. Maybe I can get a round of him,” Gus said, running a hand down Mickey’s bicep. 

“What the fuck, man?” Ian exclaimed looking to Mickey to see if he’d stop the man.

“Come on, Ian. He’s just drunk. He’s joking,” Mickey said through his own buzz.

“Yeah man, I’m just joking.” Gus played it off. “Or maybe I wasn’t.” Ian flared his nostrils as he stormed off and out the party never waiting to see Mickey’s reaction.

“What the fuck man?! I’m a one guy kind of man. I don’t share and I don’t like being shared. Jokes are one thing because Jax makes ‘em all the time but actually being serious? What the fuck?”

“Come on man, gay men shouldn’t have to be confined to hetero rules. Loosen up, take me for a spin.” The smaller framed man leaned in trying to capture Mickey’s lips with his own. Before Mickey could think, the younger man pressed rough lips against his own as Ian walked back into the kitchen. 

“Uh…” Mickey pushed Gus off him to turn to see Ian’s reddened, welled up eyes and quivering lip, “I forgot my phone,” he said grabbing it off the counter where he had set it and ran out the kitchen and as far away as he could. “Ian!” Mickey yelled trying to will his feet to unbolt themselves from the floor and take him to Ian. Gus stood behind Mickey’s back smirking smugly as the black haired man reeled from what had just panned out. “You don’t need a guy who can’t fight for what is his,” Gus started saying but only collected a loud cracking punch to the jaw before Mickey turned as fast as he could and left the party even though he could hear Milo yelling his name from behind. 

He felt his phone vibrating against his thigh when he got outside the house and headed toward his own apartment. 

** _Ian_ ** **: ** don’t come looking for me. I just need some time. 

  
  


He staggered all the way up the creaking stairs of his apartment building trying to focus his mind on the floor number. He barely noticed through his drunken state the forms of the letters and numbers but he eventually got there after trying his key on three other doors. When Mickey pushed into his apartment later that night the silence became deafening, settled around him as he realised just how much Ian had embedded himself into Mickey’s life. He plopped down harshly onto his couch and stared into the darkness hoping it could open up and swallow him whole. Jax had warned him about Gus but he didn’t listen. He was too busy looking for the good in the guy that he hurt Ian. Ian, who he knew had been insecure from the get go. He should get up and go to Ian. He made a move to stand but tripped over the coffee table crouching onto the floor in pain. Just a few hours until he wouldn’t be as inebriated, then he could go to Ian. He just needed to rest his eyes. 

He’s sure he fell asleep for some time until he heard an incessant rattling noise against the coffee table bringing him out of his slumber. He shot up with a pain in his head and grabbed his phone, hoping to see Ian’s name.  _ Jax _ . 

“What?”

“Hey...you got any Jack?”

“Thought you were with Gia? Thought it was the big night?” he mumbled in a slurred manner.

“Yeah man…she said no.” 

“Yeah, I’ve got Jack.”

***

When Ian got home that night, he found Fiona sitting in the dark of the kitchen sipping a cup of tea with her head in hands. “Hey, thought you weren’t coming home tonight. How was the party?” 

Ian stopped at the foot of the stairs, turning to look his sister in the eye. “Shit what happened?” she asked when she saw the tears streaming down his face. 

“Fuck,” he muttered, taking a seat at the table. “Fuck. Fi…I’m doing it again. I’m fucking up.”

“Ian, honey. I need you to tell me what you did.”

“I caught him kissing someone else. And that’s on me because I pushed him away. Me and my fucking insecurities. This is my fault.”

“Ian. Ian. He kissed someone else, that’s on him, not you. Look at me, you’re gonna be okay, you’re gonna find someone who sees how great you are. You don’t need him.”

“I thought he might be the one,” he said, falling limp in his sister’s arms while tears stained his face and his heart broke. He and Fiona moved to the couch at some point through his blubbering and he fell onto the couch cushions inhaling deeply the scent of home.

“I got an offer you know? Junior Instructor,” Ian said hugging the blanket that’s usually draped over the back of the couch tightly to his chest.

“Shit Ian! That’s great.”

“Not really. It’s in Michigan. Only post available. And I know we can survive that. I could send money every month and hold out until I get a post here. But Mickey and I might not survive that. So I was thinking of giving it up. For him.”

Ian’s phone began vibrating for the hundredth time since he left the party, so he shut it off before throwing it onto the coffee table. 

“Ian…you don’t have to stay anymore. You can go. We’ll be alright. But don’t run until you hear his side.”

Ian looked up with a pained expression, “What do you mean? I walked in on him kissing Gus.”

“Ian, you just told me Gus was making advances when you were there and Mickey shrugged him off. Maybe it wasn’t as you thought it was. Either way, hear his truth. But also...don't throw away your dreams. You’ve worked too hard for this. If that kiss wasn’t as it seemed by some miracle, and you two work shit out, be sure giving up your dream is something you want.” 

***

“Holy shit she really said no, huh?” Mickey asked with his hand wrapped around the neck of the bottle of whiskey.

“Yeah,” Jax whispered, “said she’s found someone else…and been tryna figure out how to end it. Fuck I’m so stupid to think she was the one and she’s been cheating all this time, huh? It’s prob the same guy she cheated with before…she probably never broke up with him.”

“Sorry, man,” Mickey said slouching further into the couch.

“Why are you drinking?”

Mickey closed his eyes pinching the bridge of his nose, “You were right. About Gus.”

Jax groaned sitting up to look his best friend in the eye, “What did he do?”

“He kissed me at Milo’s party and Ian walked in. Fuck! He was flirting and Ian got upset and left, but he came back because he left his phone and Gus just started kissing me before I could react and fuck fuck fuck,” Mickey muttered covering his face with his hands and breathing out. 

“Why the fuck aren’t you going after him? Sitting on your sorry ass drinking?”

“He told me not to follow him. And I think I should respect that plus I’ve been calling non stop, he won’t answer. Fuck I just want to go over there and tell him how I feel. That I didn’t kiss Gus.”

He and Jax spent that night sitting on Mickey’s couch trying to figure where they both had gone wrong and thanking their lucky stars that they had each other for support.

***

Ian stood outside Mickey’s apartment door contemplating if he was doing the right thing. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t. But he knew he couldn’t heal unless he heard the truth. He knocked three times and stuffed his hands in his pocket waiting. When the door finally swung open, he wasn’t expecting to find Jax in nothing but his boxer briefs. “What the fuck?” Ian asked looking over Mickey’s friend.

“Shit, Ian.” Jax looked shocked in his place, “fuck, uh Mickey isn’t here man.”

“What are you doing here?” Ian asked with a clenched jaw and trembling fingers.

“I…I asked Gia to marry me and she said no, so I crashed here last night. Literally crashed,” Jax said rubbing at his eyes.

“Sorry…I uh…I came by to see Mickey but I guess he probably didn’t come home from that party,” Ian said sounding defeated.

“What? No. Mick came home, heck he crashed just as hard. He drank so much I didn’t think he would have been able to get up, but I woke up and he’s gone. Pretty sure he left to come find your ass.”

“I doubt it,” Ian said tight lipped, “I’ll uh see you around, Jax. Or maybe not.”

Ian turned to walk down the hall toward the stairs when Jax called out to him, “Ian! He really cares about you. Hear him out?”

Ian waved without turning back to look at the half naked blonde and made his way down the stairs and to his thinking place. The place he should have gone first.

***

The first time Mickey met Fiona he saw kindness in her big brown eyes that reminded him of his sister. She was warm and inviting with a mother’s smile. But he’s standing in the Gallagher living room and he’s on the receiving end of a cold glare that felt like it’s cutting right through him. She leaned against the kitchen doorway with her hands crossed on her chest. 

“Is…is Ian here?” Mickey asked for the second time earning him a raised brow. 

“He was. He left about an hour ago. What is it that you want Mickey?” 

“I…I didn’t kiss that guy. That guy kissed me and I’m pretty sure the blow to his jaw isn’t feeling so great this morning. You have to know, I wouldn’t do that Ian, Fiona. He’s…he’s all I got.” He would normally curse himself for his voice breaking but he didn’t really care right now. Not if it meant Fiona or somebody would understand. “Fuck, I love him Fiona,” he barely whispered and her furrowed brows softened. 

“That a tactic to get back into my good graces or the truth?” she asked, turning her back to him and walked into the kitchen. Mickey followed behind to pour his heart out. 

“It’s the truth, I swear. The first day you met me you gave me the impression you understood what it was like living with my father. Trust me, you don’t know half of it. I…I have no one Fiona. My sister is who the fuck knows where. My brother is in prison and my dad might shoot me in the head without thinking twice if he ever saw me again. Ian’s all I got. Yeah, I’ve survived with the few friends I’ve made, but my life’s finally felt complete like it’s going somewhere since I met him. If your brother didn’t chase me onto that platform my life would be fucking miserable. So please tell me where he is.”

“You know he got a job offer?” Fiona asked pouring a cup of coffee before holding it out to Mickey. 

“What? No. He didn’t say anything.”

“He wouldn’t have…he only told me last night. Junior instructor in Michigan,” she said, sipping from the cup she poured herself. “Told me he wasn’t going to take it. He planned to stay…for you”

Mickey leaned into the counter holding the bridge of his nose, “He can’t…fuck he won’t now.”

“No, I think Ian feels the same way about you as you feel for him…if you go to him and tell him that…he’s going to give that job up and stay. His dream job. Can you live with yourself knowing he gave up his dreams for you?”

Mickey looked up into those brown eyes that had softened remarkably since he walked through those doors, “He said he’s going to think. He usually goes to the old baseball field a couple blocks from here to do that. Mickey…if you love him, you’ll do what’s best for him.

***

The wind was cool and whistling through the trees not too far away from where Ian sat in the dugout of the old weathered baseball field. He sat perched on one of the concrete benches looking out at the green grass that glowed in the sunlight. He hadn’t come by here in a long time and he’d missed it more than he realised. Missed the silence, the serenity. The knocking of the metal gate ripped him from his whirling thoughts.

Once upon a time, the site of the man before him gave him butterflies and made his lips split into the biggest smile that shone like the sun. Now his heart ached and his lips quivered. 

“Fiona tell you I’m here?” he asked looking back out at the field. Mickey walked further into the dugout and sat some distance from Ian. 

“Yeah. Says you come here to think.”

“Yeah also when I want to be alone,” He said harshly hoping Mickey felt it.

He could see from the corner of his eye Mickey nodding. “I…came here to apologise. I…I didn’t kiss August. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t hurt you.”

“Why should I believe you?” Ian asked.

“Because you know me. But you don’t have to. I just wanted to say I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”

“You’re right. I do know you...So what happened?”

“He said you couldn’t fight for what was yours…then he kissed me…I didn’t see it coming, but I guess he didn’t see my fist coming either so.”

Ian reluctantly chuckled as his eyes glanced to the bruising on Mickey’s knuckles. “So where do we go from here?” Ian asked turning to look Mickey in the eyes. He could see they’re red and Mickey struggled to say what he had to. 

“There is no we. I just came to apologise…but there is no more….us.”

“I don’t understand,” Ian asked as his breath caught in his throat, his heart hammered in his chest.

Mickey strided over holding Ian by the back of the neck, squeezing, “You should take the job. You’ll do really good. But you shouldn’t stay here for something that isn’t sure to last.” 

“You don’t know that.” Ian’s lips quivered and he pulled it in between his teeth to hide it. 

“I do. I can’t be with you knowing you gave up your dreams to be with me. You’ll eventually hate me and I can't live in a world where you hate me, Ian, because I...I love you. I love you so much and...and...I'll  _ always _ love you.” Mickey leaned forward and pressed his lips to Ian’s softly. “But you have to go.”

“I don’t understand why we can’t make it work.”

“Because you’re gonna be gone indefinitely. To  _ live _ in Michigan. Maybe I’m being selfish but I don’t think I could survive being with you without actually _ being  _ with you.” Ian leaned his head forward pressing his forehead to Mickey’s, “Go to Michigan and show them who Ian Gallagher is.”

“What about us?” Ian asked, barely a whisper.

“Maybe someday.”


	12. The Red Hornet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a one year time jump between this chapter and chapter 11. Italic text would be flashbacks of situations that took place over the year that I'm skipping over.

The evening was warm despite the late hour and Ian had sweat dripping down his back as he packed the last of the boxes into the trunk of the leased white Murano. “Come on Debs, if we don’t get on the road now we’ll be late.”

“I don’t think it really matters what time we get back there. He’s still going to be locked up,” Debbie answered coming out their apartment building with the baby bag on her shoulder while her redheaded eight month old son, Clay slept soundly in the car seat hanging from her other hand. 

“True, but Fiona has been calling and bitching to me all morning because she’s got no one except Liam and he’s gone into silent mode,” Ian said shutting the trunk and headed over to Debbie to take the car seat from her. He snapped the seat into place and then turned back to his sister who stared up at the red-bricked building that had become their home for the last year. 

“You ready?” he asked looking up at the house. 

“Yeah.” They both piled into the vehicle, Ian behind the wheel and Debbie sitting beside her son in the backseat. 

“Chicago…here we come,” Ian said cheekily, earning him a smack on the upside of his head and a laugh from his sister’s lips. 

***

“I swear to God Jax, if you move my shit one more time!” Mickey yelled reorganising the reception desk of their tattoo parlor for the third time that day. Mickey wiped at his brow, grimacing at the sweat on his palm and then dried his hands off. “Jax! Bitch, do you not hear me talking to you?”

Jax came out from the back room with sweat dripping down his neck, staining his black ripped up muscle tee, “Yes, I hear you bitching from all the way in the back. Heck people in Italy can hear you bitching, Mick. And for the last time, it’s not your shit, it’s  _ our _ shit. I’m pretty sure we established that when we both bought this building and trademarked the name on that sign outside our door  _ together _ .” 

“Jesus. What crawled up your ass and died there, huh?” Mickey asked, his lips split into a shit-eating grin. 

Jax glared before he picked up a box of supplies to carry to the store room. “Oh by the way, the A/C guy is coming in later today to install the new units!” Mickey shouted from the reception area. 

“Got it!” Jax said coming back out, “Dude, stop sitting on your ass and help me haul boxes.” Jax griped breathing heavily.

“I’m organizing the sticky notes man. This is a really important task. And you’re doing such a good job,” Mickey laughed, dodging a rolled up ball of used tape flying at his head. Mickey looked around the room remembering what it had once looked like…who he had been with when the building had been the ‘new up and coming’ gym that went into bankruptcy eleven months ago. 

“I know what you’re thinking. Stop. I can’t deal with sad mopey Mickey. I’ve dealt with him for far too long,” Jax said, handing a box of design binders to Mickey over the counter.

“Bitch you’re one to talk. You’re the one who slept on my couch for a week crying that you were too scared you’d die alone.” 

“Yes, but I’ve grown since then Mickey. I’m no longer that man,” Jax said seriously, causing Mickey to burst into laughter. 

“That was last week man,” Mickey laughed. Jax pulled the swivel chair from behind the reception desk, sat on it and spun in the empty space where the couch would go. 

“You ever think how fucking weird it is that we both got our hearts broken at the same time?” Jax said with his hands behind his head while he spun.

“Sometimes I think it’s weird. Sometimes I think it’s fate,” Mickey said seriously as he cut the tape off a box.

“Can I ask you something serious?” Jax asked, rolling the chair to the desk and looking up at Mickey with earnest eyes.

“Shoot.”

“Do you think I’m a dick for taking the apartment from Gia?” 

“Okay one, no I don’t think so because your name is the one that was on the lease next to mine, not hers. She’s the bitch who cheated in the first place, why should she get the apartment. Two, it’s been a year and four months Jax, stop beating yourself up about taking the apartment.”

Jax nodded, leaning his head onto the desk and thrumming his fingers against the black wood. “Can I ask you something serious?” Mickey asked.

“You know you can,” Jax said without lifting his head.

“You think I made the right choice letting Ian go?” Mickey was looking down but he didn’t miss the way Jax raised his head and tilted it to the side. 

“When you’re happy and moving forward, I think yeah, you made the right choice because I’m sure he’s progressing too. But when you’re sad and moping I think no, you didn’t because I’m sure he’s moping too. There is no black and white, yes or no answer, Mick.” Mickey nodded his head as he moved to unload the binders into the cupboard under the desk. 

Jax stood up looking around the freshly painted reception room where he and Mickey hung the unplugged neon sign that was bent into the name of their shop and smiled. “Thank God for that one night in Vegas and that three million dollar jackpot.”

He walked passed Mickey and into the back room where he unboxed their supplies. Mickey stood up from behind the desk looking at the sign his best friend had been looking at, “Thank God, indeed.” He smiled in the direction of the words bent out of blown glass ready to be lit standing out against the black paint,  _ The Red Hornet _ . 

***

He kept his eyes on the road as his mind drifted off with the sun behind the trees. He looked up in the rear view mirror to see Debbie had fallen asleep with her hand holding one of Clay’s fingers. The little redheaded boy was wide awake looking out at the streetlights. 

_ “Mr. Gallagher. Never thought I’d see you back in camo again,” Sergeant Griffin said as they walked through the halls of the facility. Ian was sweating bullets of nerves because it was his first day and when he showed up he wasn’t expecting his Sergeant to be the Sergeant who arrested him when he was in the army all those years ago.  _

_ “Uh. It’s been the goal ever since you last saw me, Sir.” _

_ “You and the family move to Michigan?” The man had a rough mean look that conveyed anger and authority but he had a honey sweet voice that comforted in the weirdest way.  _

_ “No, just me and my younger sister.” _

_ “Younger? Hmm. Last time I saw you in Chicago I never thought that big sister of yours would let you out of her sight. How is she doing?” _

_ “She’s fine. Raising my teen brother hasn’t been easy on her, but she’ll survive…she always does,” Ian said thinking fondly of his sister.  _

_ “I can’t imagine being away from them is easy. How come you brought one with you?” _

_ “Uh..she’s pregnant. School has been tough on her and she lost her friends. We figured a fresh start might be good,” Ian said. _

_ “You’re a good man, Gallagher. Listen, I know men like you who would do anything to be close to their family. So here’s what, I’ll keep a close eye on if anything opens up in Chicago. If not, you’ll have to wait a year before you can apply for a transfer. Once you’ve served with us for a year they’ll grant you a transfer no matter. If it’s before the year is up you’ll have to wait for something to open up.” _

_ “Thank you, Sir. I really appreciate that.” _

The last year hadn’t been easy for him or Debbie, but he didn’t doubt they would survive it. 

***

_ “Vegas, baby!” Jax yelled as they stepped out of the airport. He clapped his hands on Mickey’s shoulders laughing loudly.  _

_ “I cannot believe you convinced me to do this,” Mickey griped as he and Jax hailed a cab. _

_ “Come on, Mick. I need this. Help me mend my broken heart. Help me help you mend your broken heart.”  _

_ “Just shut the fuck up and give the cabbie the address.” Fuck, he was going to be miserable that entire weekend. But he’d only agreed to it because his friend was right. He made his decision to let Ian go so he couldn’t sit around and mope forever. He had to pick himself up and heal. So this was him making a conscience effort to heal, in Vegas...yeah this was going to turn out just peachy.  _

_ He had about four shots of tequila flooding his system when he and Jax decided it was the last chance before they call it a night and retreat to their hotel rooms. He dug a handful of coins out his pocket and slammed it into Jax’s hand smiling like an idiot as his friend stuck them into the machine and winked before he pulled the lever.  _

_ 7…7…7! The music started playing and the machine was blinking as Mickey and Jax both looked at each other with drunken, wide eyes. They had both just won a jackpot of three million dollars, changing both their lives in the best way possible. Neither knew the other’s first thought, but ironically it was the same thing. They could both have their dream: open their own shop. _

***

They got to Chicago at almost midnight, all cramped up from sitting in the car and worn out from trying to comfort the crying baby. Ian hauled their stuff from the trunk as quickly as he could so he could get inside and crash in his bed. By the time he’d gotten inside, Debbie had taken Clay to bed and Fiona was sitting at the dinner table waiting for him. “I made you some tea,” she said pushing the mug toward him. 

He looked around the kitchen at how little had changed in a year. “So, what time is the hearing?” Ian asked sitting down.

“Nine in the morning. I went by to see him today. They said if he shows remorse and gives up his dealer he can get off seeing as it’s his first offence. But we aren’t snitches so he’s looking at a minimum of four months if he pulls that remorse card. Problem is, Carl doesn’t have remorse.”

Ian nodded sipping his tea and thought over how his brother managed to get this fucked up, “I tried calling Lip. To tell him Carl’s going to juvie, ended up only able to send a message…he read the messages but he didn’t respond. Same as when Debbie gave birth.”

“He’s moved on. He’s made it clear, Ian. We’ve made it this far without him. We can get through this too.” She covered Ian’s hands with her own squeezing tightly. “How does it feel to be back here?”

“Pretty good actually. Like I survived something,” Ian chuckled, “I put in a request for emergency transfer and they approved. Said my family needs me.” 

“What? You can do that?” Fiona asked sitting up. 

“Yeah I served a year with them, so I can. Michigan was nice and great to feel like I was a different person, but it’s time for us to come home. And we’re not arguing about that. I know how you feel about Clay and don’t worry about it, I’ll cover him and Debs until she gets a job an-” 

“Ian…it’s been a year. I’ve moved passed it. I think it’s time I accepted he’s part of the family. I love Debbie and I only wanted what’s best for her. Maybe this was that in a disguise, I refused to see pass.” Ian nodded pulling Fiona into a tight hug. “It’s so good to have you home. You…you did what I couldn’t and I’m really happy Debbie had you.” Ian knew his sister all his life and he knew she’s wearing guilt in her eyes.

“Hey, listen to me. The responsibility of taking care of all of us shouldn’t have fallen on you. It wasn’t supposed to but you did it anyway. But it’s not all on you, Fiona. Not anymore.” He squeezed her hand tight as she leaned into him.

***

“I keep fucking up,” Fiona slurred with her lips pressed to the cold bottle of beer in her hands. She’s sitting slouched against the couch beside Ian. They’d both had way more than they should and they’re both reeling over the events of the day. 

“Carl Francis Gallagher is going to fucking juvie,” Ian said, “for a year. Are we surprised, Fi? I mean we tried our best…but he still did it…he was still Carl in the end.”

“Did I tell you Mike and I broke up?” Fiona asked after they both sat in silence swallowing their cooling beers in some kind of tribute or honor to their brother’s incarceration.

“Shit. What happened? You were like...together for two years or something.”

“Yeah…well I fucked up,” Fiona said sternly staring down at her bottle picking at the label. Fiona then shot up from her seat spinning on her feet to face her brother, “Let’s get tattoos.”

“Huh?” Ian asked with raised eyebrows.

“Yeah. We’ve both had a rough year. You know, I know you had a rough year. I didn’t buy all those ‘everything is great’ stories. We’ve survived, Ian Gallagher. Let’s do something to commemorate that!” Fiona drunkenly cheered.

“I think you’re drunk.”

“Yeah, I am” she laughed loudly, and even if it sounded a bit cynical, Ian was happy to hear the sound nonetheless. Sierra told me about this new place that opened up where Misfits used to be. The Red Hornet or something. Come on, please. We never do shit like this together.”

“Fine. You wake up in the morning and you’re still up for it then, yeah. Why the fuck not?”

***

Mickey was sitting at the reception desk sipping a hot cup of coffee and jotting notes into his and Jax’s calendar. He glanced up at the clock that read 9:22 am. Sighing, he leaned back into the desk chair, nursing his coffee as he took in the sight of the shop. His shop. A year ago this was just a dream, something he thought would be decades in the future. He’d hoped by now he’d have someone to share his happiness and success with, but Mickey hadn’t been able to find a guy who felt right. Not since Ian. 

The first month after Ian left, Mickey had sworn off men and told Jax to fuck off whenever he asked to go clubbing. Because despite being as close as they were and as similar as they were, they both dealt with heartache very differently. Provided that this was Mickey’s first heartbreak, he was quite content with sitting at home and sulking in it, while Jax was ready to stick it in someone as fast as he could. Their Vegas trip had only actually happened because Jax was done seeing Mickey mope and he guilt tripped Mickey into “ _ doing it for him _ ” because “ _ he needed guys time to heal _ ”. So Mickey had hopped on board with his best friend’s plan. And everything changed after Vegas. Everything except one thing. Mickey was still lonely. He had a spur of the moment decision when he got dressed in his best and rang Jax up and told him they were going to a club and he was going to get laid. 

After that, it was just random guys twice a week to satiate Mickey’s sexual desires, but none ever checked his boxes. There had been a few nights when Jax had propositioned Mickey through a weed induced haze, but to Mickey it didn’t feel right. It didn’t matter if they used to bang before or that they were both now single, he couldn’t look at Jax that way. Because every time he tried and told himself it’d be easier to just have a fuck buddy and a genuine companion no matter how platonic they felt toward each other, he couldn’t help but see Ian and how Ian had been jealous about how close Mickey and Jax were.

“I can hear you thinking from all the way in the back alley,” Jax said plopping down in the chair beside Mickey with his own steaming mug of coffee, kicking up the familiar scent of the cigarette he just smoked.. 

Mickey didn’t answer, he just rolled his eyes and finished off his caffeine.

“Mick, I love you, you’re like the only family I’ve got. But I gotta tell you, enough is enough. It’s been a year.”

Mickey’s voice was small when he spoke, avoiding Jax’s intense stare, “I know. I told him to go but…what if he comes back? What if he walks through that door _ right now _ ?”

Jax shook his head and laughed, “Well if he comes back, you don’t know if he’d still want what you guys had, but I can guarantee you Mick, he’s not going to walk through those doors right now, that’s just ridiculous.”

Both men laughed and made a move to get up to prepare for their first client when the bell above the door that Jax insisted they install rang out into the quiet reception room. “Welcome to the Red Hornet,” Mickey said with feigned joy looking to meet eyes with the customer. 

He looked into tired but bright green eyes surrounded by familiar freckled skin and red tufts of hair that glowed with the sun behind. Both of their breaths hitched at the sight of the other man before a gentle smile grew onto Ian’s lips.

Jax’s smooth voice broke the silence first, “ Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit .”


	13. I did say maybe someday, didn’t I?

“Hey, Mick.” His voice didn’t even feel like it belonged to him anymore. When he and Fiona had woken up that morning and decided they were still on board with their tattoo idea, the last thing he expected was to walk into a tattoo shop that was definitely not Anarchy and see Mickey and Jax standing behind the counter. 

The shorter man looked even more beautiful that Ian had remembered. His skin was still pale, like porcelain and his black hair shiny and slicked back. His lips were pink and slightly swollen and Ian could just tell that Mickey had spent the last ten minutes worrying the tender plumpness.

“Hey,” Mickey barely whispered. 

“You, uh…you left Anarchy,” Ian said gesturing at what was once his workplace, now turned gothic styled tattoo parlor. 

“Yeah…sort of just happened,” Mickey said slowly and cautiously. His blue eyes flicked over to where Fiona was standing beside Ian, “Fiona.”

“Mickey,” she said, nodding her head. 

“So…are you guys here to get some work done or…are you just stopping by?” Ian could hear the hope in Mickey’s voice.

“Here to get work….I didn’t even know you worked here. Fi just heard about this place from a girl at the diner,” Ian said shoving his hands deep in his pockets. He looked over to Jax who’s standing awkwardly beside Mickey. He’s biting at his bottom lip while his shoulders tensed up to his neck. Ian still thought Jax was breathtakingly beautiful, but he’s always blown away by how little he can compare to Mickey when beside him.

“Uh..why don’t you come in with me…and I can help you choose something, huh?” Jax said looking at Fiona who nodded enthusiastically following him through the black doors. 

“Subtle,” Ian said pointing to where his sister disappeared with Mickey’s best friend. 

Mickey chuckled and Ian’s sure it’s the most beautiful thing he’d heard. “Yeah…so you’re back.”

“Yeah…I’m back.”

“For good or just visiting?” Mickey asked, playing with the stapler on the desk refusing to look up at Ian.

“For good,” Ian said dipping his head to look Mickey in the eye.

“How long have you been back?” Mickey’s voice suddenly grew a little harder and his shoulders tensed like he’s protecting himself from the true answer. 

“Today is my third day back. Got in on Thursday night and then spent yesterday in court,” Ian said. Mickey looked up with furrowed brows that showed endless concern and Ian melted at the sight because he’d missed that look. “Carl got sent to juvie.” 

“Shit, how long?”

“A year…he’ll be fine. Heck he might even be running the joint when he’s done,” Ian said, relaxing and leaning on the desk. 

Mickey laughed softly, “So…you here to get something done too?”

“Yup,” Ian said popping the p and smiling. 

“Well you can look through these,” Mickey dug around in a cupboard for a binder of designs then handed it over to Ian. “Let me know what you like.”

Ian dug into his jeans pocket pulling out a crumpled piece of paper and unfolding it on the desk. Mickey’s breath hitched when he saw it’s the drawing he had done a year and a half before. “I want this.”

***

Mickey walked into the second tattoo room once he had gathered what he needed from the needle room. When he walked in, he took a deep breath to steady himself at the sight of Ian shirtless lying on the tattoo bed. “Mind if I ask why this design?” Mickey asked as he placed the drawing over the light to trace the pattern. 

“Been a hard year…feels like it means something,” Ian said softly. 

“How’s the job been?” Mickey asked trying to keep things as casual as possible hoping Ian wouldn’t notice how much he’s shaking and how badly his body wants to react to the redhead’s close proximity.

“Good. Got a transfer here though. Fi needs me. Plus it’ll be better for Clay to grow up with more people around than just Debbie and I...and I...I missed home.” 

“Clay?”

“Debbie’s kid…Clayton, but we call him Clay.”

“Debbie went with you?” Mickey asked and he could hear in his own voice the care he still had for Ian and his family.

“Yeah. She wanted a fresh start.” When Mickey was finished with the pattern he turned to Ian. 

“Where do you want it?”

Ian brought his left arm around his waist to point to his right side right over his ribs. “That shit’s gonna hurt man,” Mickey said moving closer on his rolling chair with a smile stretched across his face.

“You’ll distract me,” Ian said softly. Mickey got lost in the way Ian’s muscles curled beneath his skin and his freckles glittered his skin like constellations. The heaviness he once had in his chest when Ian left had subsided for sometime, but the longer Ian laid before him, the heavier it became. The pain climbed up his throat and he had to take a deep breath to calm himself. 

When he finally began, he tried his best to keep a conversation going with Ian. Whether it be to comfort him and distract him from the pain radiating into his ribcage, or to just hear the sound of Ian’s voice, he continued keeping his voice steady. 

“So was it everything you thought it’d be? Michigan?” If he sounded a bit bitter he didn’t mean to because he knew he hoped Ian would get what he wanted from the job. 

“It was nice. Would have been nicer to be able to share it with someone,” Ian said tilting his head down and Mickey could feel those green eyes fixed on him.

He asked Ian how training went in his first year. How he was coping being back in Chicago no matter how short a space of time he’d been there. Mickey found that the conversation fell a lot on Clay, Ian’s nephew. He heard the pride exuding off Ian’s lips when he chatted about the latest addition to the Gallagher family. “He was a good way to keep me occupied so I wouldn’t feel lonely,” Ian said absentmindedly.

“Oh, come on Gallagher, I’m sure your found some guys to keep you comfy,” Mickey joked only realizing his words after they left his mouth. Awkward silence floated into the room until Ian spoke up clearly. 

“There probably were guys I could have hooked up with…but I didn’t. Between working and coming home so Debbie could go to work and I could watch Clay…the most action I had was my fist at the end of the week,” he nervously laughed. 

Mickey stopped tattooing for a moment to look Ian dead in his green eyes, “You’re kidding, right?”

Ian shook his head, “Nope. Celibate for one year and four months. Didn’t feel right to. Not when I had….”

“Not when you had what?” Mickey started back at his work causing Ian to hiss, “sorry.”

“Not when I felt like I had someone at home. In Chicago.” Ian avoided his gaze looking up at the ceiling before asking, “What about you? Saw anyone?”

“No…nothing serious anyway. Just some hookups here and there. Was a pretty dry year for me too.”

Ian nodded, choosing to remain quiet while Mickey worked on the tattoo. They both know Ian didn’t have a place to be mad. And he wasn’t because he hadn’t expected Mickey to stay celibate for an indefinite time until he returned, if he was to even return at all. He just wondered how he was supposed to ask if Mickey was seeing anyone right now.

He opted for asking about Jax when Mickey began shading the eagle. “How has Jax been doing? With the whole Gia thing?”

“Uh good… think it was easier to get over when he found out she was cheating for half of their relationship. But she moved out so he got the apartment. And he’s been...well he’s been Jax, sleeping around with randoms until he finds one he likes. Then one of them will remind him of Gia and then he mopes for a bit before he’s back at ‘em. He’s been talking about about some waiter from Jionni’s who he swears has a crush on him, so we’ll see,” Mickey laughed. “Our shop keeps him busy,” he said gesturing around the room.

“Your shop...so you finally got your dream, huh?” Ian said looking around the room. 

Mickey felt his cheeks flush with heat as he ducked his head pretending to have to get a closer look. “Yeah,” he mumbled humbly.

“How’d that happen?” Ian asked wincing when the needle hit a particularly painful point. 

“Jax dragged me to Vegas for a week. He insisted we needed it. And well, we won a jackpot,” Mickey said softly.

“Holy shit! No fucking waaaaaayy!” Ian said, ending on a singing groan of pain. “I feel like those things don’t usually happen to people I know. I’m happy for you, Mick,” Ian said resting his hand on Mickey’s shoulder and unintentionally squeezing there when the pain hit him again. 

Mickey smiled looking up into Ian’s eyes tilting his head, “Would have been nicer to be able to share it with someone.”

Ian looked down as Mickey pulled the needle away from his skin, looking up in his green eyes, and felt a lump growing in his throat. “It’s never too late, right?” Ian whispered so softly and Mickey felt a shiver go through his body before he put his needle down. Ian thought he’d definitely just fucked this up when it was going surprisingly well. Mickey wiped over the tender skin with a cloth avoiding  Ian’s gaze.

Mickey cleared his throat before he rolled his chair away from the bed holding his hands out and whispered, “voila.” 

He reached behind him for a handheld mirror holding it up for Ian to see the new ink decorating his body. “Holy fuck…it looks so sick, thanks Mick.” And Mickey forced his shaking hand to keep still as the effects of the nickname coursed through his body. 

“Let’s get it wrapped and you’re good to go.” 

***

By the time Ian dropped off Fiona at the diner for her afternoon shift and got back to the Gallagher house, he was feeling heavy with emotion and whirling thoughts. Thinking of the last words Mickey told him,  _ I’ll see you real soon, Ian. _ He threw himself heavily onto the couch and rested his hands across his chest. The heavy footsteps dragging down the stairs made him pop his eyes open to find Debbie with darkened circles around her eyes and her hair in the tight grip of her son’s hands. 

“Shit. What happened to you?” Ian asked sitting up and reaching out for Clay. 

“Clay kept me up all night and refused to go down for a nap today. I’m so freaking exhausted,” she drawled out as she handed over the giggling baby. 

“Awe, he could stay with me tonight if you want…you could get some rest. It’ll take some time before he settles, but soon it’ll start feeling like home for him,” Ian said extending his arms and then retracting them to bring the giggling baby closer to his face then further away repeatedly. “If you want…I don’t have anything to do, I could take him out for a walk, you can go ahead and sleep. You’d like that won’t you little man? Huh?” 

“Would you?” Debbie asked looking relieved, “Ian, I would owe you.”

“No you won’t,” Ian said, getting up and heading up the stairs to get Clay into a fresh diaper and clean clothes. “You could just bake me some of those chocolate chip cookies you learned how to make.” 

***

The sound of Clay’s musical laughter had become one of Ian’s favorite things in the world over the past year. He knew it was impossible for the little baby boy, who had no relation to Mickey in the slightest, to have a laugh that reminded him of the blue eyed brunette. But somehow he was standing in the old dug outs looking out at the green field listening the giggles as they reverberated from the child’s lips, transcending Ian into thought. The pure joy in those hiccupped giggles reminded him of nights spent lazing in bed with Mickey cracking his lame jokes in an attempt to get Mickey to laugh and feel extremely satisfied with himself when the brunette would carelessly throw his head back and let the joy and humour bubble out of his throat. “Someday buddy, I’m gonna bring you to this very field and I’m gonna teach you how to throw a wicked pitch,” Ian said bouncing the baby as he held the child’s back against his chest cupping his butt while one hand held his chest. Tiny hands reached out toward the greenery while Ian bounced and told his nephew of all the fun games they’ll come to when he was older.

It was all Ian could do to really distract himself from getting in the tornado of thoughts about Mickey Milkovich. He hadn’t exactly dwelled over what his return could mean for them because after a year and some months Ian didn’t think it was possible to come back to find the brunette man just waiting. 

“You’re gonna be on the little league team Clay…if you want, I mean…or not… I used to play second base on this very field little guy. You’re gonna love it,” Ian said kissing the side of his nephew’s head.

“I played first,” a familiar voice said from the entryway, startling Ian. He turned around to find Mickey awkwardly standing in the gateway with one hand on the metal fencing and the other in his jeans pocket, “Well more like I pissed on first base, but you get the point.”

“What are you doing here?” Ian asked softly not even sure if the other man could hear him from his distance. But Mickey did hear the words and pulled his lips into a tight smile as he walked further in, taking a seat on the bench against the concrete wall looking out at the field. Ian hadn’t expected to hear from Mickey or see him again since he so openly let it be known that he was hoping they could pick up where they had left off. When Mickey hadn’t responded to Ian asking if it’s never too late at the tattoo shop, the redhead had simply thought Mickey simply didn’t want the same things as him.

“I didn’t know anyone would be here…I kinda come here now…ever since…you know… to think,” Mickey said slowly, “guess that’s what you’re doing here?”

“Uh, yeah…that and Debbie wanted to get some sleep, so I took Clay off her hands for a couple hours.”

Mickey smiled as he looked down at his dangling feet, “Cute kid…he looks just like you.”

Ian took tentative steps toward Mickey and smiled, “Do you wanna maybe hold him?” Mickey looked up into Ian’s green eyes cautiously before shrugging and then nodded. Ian stepped even closer and transferred the wary baby into the brunette’s hands. Mickey held Clay against his chest looking into the child’s big green eyes. “He’s uh…he’s got your eyes,” Mickey said.

Ian leaned his butt against the bench stretching his legs out, “I guess…they’re Debbie’s eyes…she just happens to have the same as me,” Ian said lamely, internally cursing himself for being so goddamn awkward. Ian looked toward Mickey and the way Clay easily leaned into the blue eyed man’s chest, nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck. Ian was kind of wishing it was him doing that instead of his nephew, “He likes you- ”

“You wanna go out?” Mickey blurted, cutting Ian off and looking earnestly into Ian’s face.

“Uh…like a…like a date?” Ian asked.

Mickey’s cheeks heated up as he blushed and looked away before meeting Ian’s eyes again, “Yeah…like a date. I…what you said this morning…about never being too late…I’m kinda hoping that we’re not….too late. So will you go out with me?”

“Yes,” Ian said quickly blushing. “I’d like that. What do you have in mind?” Ian said as his nephew started fussing for him. He reached out taking the child into his arms and cuddling his cheek against the boy’s head. 

“Dinner and a movie? I’ve been learning to cook some new things lately…as a distraction really…Jax gives me shit and tells me I’m turning into an old lady but I swear it tastes good.” Ian couldn’t help the smile as Mickey rambled and blushed. 

Ian bent and laid a soft kiss on Mickey’s lips shutting him up. “Tomorrow. Your place. Seven. I’ll be there,” he said once he’d detached his lips. He started bouncing the fussy child while he stepped back and gave Mickey a smile. 

“Okay…I should go…Jax will rip my head off if I leave him to run the place by himself for too long.”

“Right,” Ian said watching as Mickey got up to leave, “Wait, Mick. You’re sure about this right?” Ian asked nervously.

Mickey smiled wickedly before nodding his head, “I did say maybe someday, didn’t I?” He laughed as he skipped into a jog away from the dugout.


	14. A Forward March

The shop was noisy that morning when Mickey walked in already feeling flustered by the loud banging noises coming from the floor above. “What the fuck is that noise?” he grumbled, setting his bag onto the reception desk and taking the cup of coffee being held out to him by Debbie. She had a pink pen stuck behind her ear as she went back to rifling through papers on the desk. “That’s the contractors, they’re putting down the new flooring upstairs. Jax said the painters would be here by next week to paint the two apartments.”

“Painters? No that’ll cost too much money. I’ll get a couple rollers and brushes and Ian, Carl and I will paint that in no time.”

“Already making plans for Carl I see?”

“Yeah. He’s been out for weeks now, he needs to get off his sorry ass and find something to do with himself.” Debbie nodded as she continued tapping away on the calculator. 

“He’s been asking Fiona if she thinks you’ll teach him,” Debbie said distractedly.

“Teach him what?” Mickey asked setting his now empty mug down.

“To tattoo. Or art or something. You’re like a proper role model to him now that he’s seen the inside of juvie and that you made it out.”

Mickey mulled the thought over in his head, “Okay…tell him he starts tomorrow. What the fuck are you doing? This place is a mess,” Mickey said gesturing to the scattered desk and boxes of paper.

“I’m doing your taxes…well, The Red Hornet’s,” Debbie said. Mickey shrugged heading to the back of the shop to the needle room while the client got settled onto the bed.

***

“Forward March.” Ian’s voice boomed across the courtyard as the lines of cadets set off in time like a well tuned machine. The sun was beating down onto his face as beads of sweat dropped down his neck.

“Lieutenant Gallagher,” a smaller voice called from the sidelines. Ian turned to see the facility’s receptionist, Gracie walking out onto the field with a notepad. Ian nodded to the fellow junior instructor as he followed Gracie to the sidelines under the eave.

“Sir, I just got a call from your sister Fiona. She says Liam’s school called and he has a fever and you need to go get him because she’s at an interview right now.”

Ian nodded, “Thanks, Gracie. Can you tell Sergeant Daniels I left for a family emergency?”

“Already done,” she smiled, winking at him as she skipped back into the building as Ian jogged toward the parking lot. 

He checked his phone for the first time that afternoon to find almost ten missed calls from Fiona and a couple texts from Carl and Mickey. 

** _Carl:_ ** think I’m going to ask Debbie to ask Mickey to teach me. You were right I should try.

He smiled at the progress his little brother had made as he sent a thumbs up and  _ I’m proud of you _ message.

** _Mickey:_ ** Your brother asked your sister to ask me to teach him…

** _Mickey:_ ** your sister is yelling at me about my goddamn taxes

** _Mickey:_ ** remind me again why I agreed to give her this job! She’ll make me bald by the end of the day.

** _Mickey:_ ** you’re not answering I guess you’re running drills. Guess who just got dropped off by Fiona before she went to her interview? My fave redhead. 

** _Mickey:_ ** I swear to god your nephew is the cutest thing ever. 

Ian smiled as he clipped his phone onto the dashboard and dialed Mickey before putting the car in drive.

“Hello?” Mickey answered before softly saying, “Yes, It is your uncle Ian.”

“Hey, babe. Sorry I didn’t respond, I was running drills.”

“I figured. Where are you? Sounds like the car.”

“Yeah, Fi called, I gotta go get Liam, he has a fever so I’ll take him to the doctor’s and then I’ll pick you guys up.”

“No problem. Clay keeps grabbing the phone.”

“Put him on speaker,” Ian said with a smile on his face as he pulled into the parking lot of Liam’s school that was only a block away from the ROTC facility..

“Ba-ba,” the toddler called his special name for Ian. 

“Hey baby boy! I’m coming to get you real soon okay. Be good for uncle Mickey.”

“Mi-mi,” the child cheered making them both laugh loudly.

“Okay, I’m here, I’ll see you in a bit. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Ian climbed out of the car smiling widely to himself of how much of a family they had become. Mickey had integrated so well into their family and Clay absolutely adored him. Their entire family was moving forward and having tiny bouts of progress that made Ian feel immense pride in his chest. They were all instep with a forward march. Fiona had an interview for a promotion, Mickey and Jax’s business was doing better than ever, and they were renovating the upper floor of their building into three apartments as a source of income. Income from those apartments that Mickey accidentally told Ian he’d be depositing into an account for Debbie and Clay, even though Ian insisted Mickey needed to do no such thing. Mickey had taken a great liking to Carl and he told Ian how he saw himself in the younger boy and was determined to make sure Carl got out like he did. Jax and Ian had gotten close over the year, and built a friendship that centered around giving Mickey as much shit as possible for the fun of it, but also Ian felt like he’d found an older brother in the blonde…an older brother that he’d lost in his own. Everything was going as good as it could possibly go.

Ian was happier than he had ever been in his life since that afternoon in the dugout when Mickey asked him out and he couldn’t wait to see where he’d be another year from now.


	15. Maybe Someday, Maybe Forever

Mickey noticed the look Ian gets in his eyes sometimes when he’s thinking about something really big. Life altering even. He’s had two years of living with the guy to really make sure that that was what that look meant. And even though things were going really damn good for them over the past two years, Mickey couldn’t help but sometimes get anxious and a little bit antsy when he saw that look flicker in his boyfriend’s eyes. He’s sitting at his desk in the corner of the office of their new apartment laying down the final touches of a design he’d conjured up in his mind. He could hear the steady knock of Ian’s shaking leg against the table leg of the desk he was sitting at, across the room. Sharing an office space was something Mickey thought would be the absolute worst idea because how the fuck would any of them actually get work done. 

But it turned out that with time, they became a little more disciplined, so when shit needed to get done they both sat their asses down in their chairs and got to work. Ian’s trying to draw up a training plan for the new recruitment of cadets he’d be overseeing that summer. Mickey let his eyes fall across the stack of wedding invitations he’s supposed to finish up for a couple on the Northside. 

_ You should branch out and do other forms of art, Mick. I’ve seen what you can do. _ Ian had told him a year before. Followed by weeks of his boyfriend and best friend both pestering him to start looking into other art jobs besides tattoo design. Mickey, since then, had been flooded with a constant stream of jobs that ranged from wedding invitations to graduation certificates to web designing. Business was good but it was also a lot to juggle. Ian was always a big help though and would stay up late with Mickey to help in whatever way he could or massage his boyfriend’s shoulders when he knew he was cramping up. He made a mental note to guilt Ian into helping him package the invitations once he was finished addressing them in calligraphy. 

The sudden cease of the constant knocking that had somehow become comforting was what ripped Mickey’s attention from the growing pile of work. He glanced over to where Ian had stuck his red pen between his lips and was noticeably gnawing on the cap. Ian’s red brows furrowed closely together as he got that look in his eyes. That look that set Mickey’s anxiety off and had him worrying if now was the final moment Ian had decided that coming back to Chicago was a mistake. 

He sat and observed the other man for some time, trying to pick apart what could be running through the other man’s head. Ian suddenly sprung up from his chair and headed out of the room and into the living room. Mickey pulled his feet from under his desk and pushed himself up and then followed the busy footsteps of Ian. 

By the time he got to the living room he saw Ian slip into his boots and shrug on his jacket. “Where are you going?” Mickey asked trying to keep his voice as steady and casual as possible. 

Ian jumped at the sound of Mickey’s voice and then nervously looked away like he was avoiding Mickey’s eyes as he spoke. “I... uh…I forgot Jax wanted me to get some last minute things for the wedding.” 

“Last minute things like what?” Mickey asked already able to tell Ian was lying.

“Uh…you know…flowers…” he said awkwardly before almost running out the door. Mickey shook his head and gripped onto the back of the couch to steady himself from over thinking this. Ian knew Jax and Mickey had gone to the florist the day before to finalise the order for Jax’s wedding. Ian wouldn’t be so dumb as to think Mickey would actually believe that lie right?

***

Ian banged against the black wooden door impatiently huffing air out from running over. “What the fuck?” groaned Jax as he yanked the door open wearing nothing but a pair of blue boxer briefs. 

“You busy?” Ian asked, pushing pass the blonde and into the apartment.

“Well, seeing that it’s the night before my wedding…yeah, I’m busy.” Jax said. Ian turned on his heels giving him a once over, “How busy can you be in your underwear?”

“Babe! You coming back to bed?” shouted the familiar female voice from the bedroom area. Ian’s lips formed into an o as it dawned upon him just how busy Jax was.

“In a bit!” Jax yelled, “What’s up? Why are you all sweaty? You run over here?” Jax asked, grabbing a T-shirt from the back of the couch and pulling it on.

“Yeah, I ran. I need a favor,” Ian said, pacing the living room space.

Jax looked at Ian expectedly for him to continue until the redhead stopped in his place and jerked his head up, “I need you to give me a tattoo.” 

“And this couldn’t wait?” Jax asked pulling on a pair of jeans he found on the floor behind the couch.

“Well, you’re getting married tomorrow and then you’re going on your honeymoon and I kinda want it done before then. Please, I promise it won’t take long it isn’t even that big.” Jax rolled his eyes before glaring at Ian for some time.

“Babe! I’ll be back in like two hours! I gotta do something,” Jax yelled in the direction of the bedroom.

“Okay! Should I put the whip cream back in the fridge? Or would it be better if it’s melting?” she answered seductively.

“Fridge!” Jax called embarrassed at the same time Fiona emerged from the bedroom with a beige sheet wrapped around her.

“Fuck! Ian! Shit,” she said covering her mouth though she was hysterically laughing. 

“I did not need to know that,” Ian said tilting his head, “I’m just borrowing him.” 

***

Mickey sat at home worried. He tried his best not to, but he couldn’t help it. The past two years had been good for him and Ian. They communicated well and that was something he appreciated most about their relationship. They talked about almost everything. But he couldn’t get the distant look Ian had before he stormed out their door out of his head, or the way he stammered over his words when Ian was thinking up a lie. This wasn’t them and he was terrified of what it could mean. 

Mickey knows he couldn’t hold Ian accountable for their break up two years ago. He knows that he’s the one who called the relationship off because he was too scared to try anything resembling a long distance relationship. He told Ian to follow his dreams and he shouldn’t blame Ian for the year they spent apart, and he doesn't. He just constantly lives with the fear that Ian would one day find another dream he wants to follow that would require him to leave. It all boils down to the cold hard truth, Mickey is scared he’ll lose Ian. he’s scared he isn’t enough. Because he’s never been. Not when he was growing up in his father’s house. Ian’s the only person who’s ever made him feel like he was worth something and he was scared to lose that.. After about two hours sitting on the couch and worrying his bottom lip his phone vibrated with two text messages. 

** _Ian:_ ** almost done. Be home soon.

** _Jax:_ ** sorry to keep your boy from you. Last minute shit Fi wanted.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he read both messages because he was being paranoid. If Ian was lying he wouldn’t take the time to text him and Jax wouldn’t lie for Ian. He leaned back into the couch and waited for Ian, and fell asleep without knowing it.

The next thing Mickey felt was warm breath fanning against the side of his neck while familiar arms wrapped around him and a weight slowly laid on him. His eyes fluttered open to find Ian hovering over him with a gentle look in his eyes.

“Hey,” Ian whispered.

“Hey. You get through with everything?”

Ian nodded dipping his head into the crook of Mickey’s neck and inhaled his scent deeply, “Missed you,” he barely whispered.

Mickey chuckled lowly as he carded tattooed fingers through red hair, “You were gone for like three hours.”

“Yeah and that’s a long time,” Ian said, “come on let’s go to bed, got an early morning.”

“What time do we have to be at the church?”

“Fi said no later than eight. She doesn’t wanna risk us not getting there on time for me to walk her down the aisle.” Mickey stood up after Ian and wrapped his arms around the redhead’s waist, pulling him closer.

“Are you okay?” Mickey asked.

“Better than okay. Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know…I figured you having to give her away would be a reminder that Lip isn’t around or Frank,” Mickey said shrugging.

“As sad as it is, I’ve gotten too used to it. Let’s go to bed,” Ian said, dragging Mickey toward the bedroom.

Ian shut the door behind him and then started shrugging off his clothes while Mickey cleared the laundry off the bed. By the time Mickey had finished and taken his sweatpants off he turned to find Ian in nothing but his boxers and his left shoulder wrapped. “Ian?” he asked at the same time Ian began removing the wrap.

Mickey stood frozen as Ian dropped the band aid to the dresser top and turned fully for him to see his own name in delicate cursive writing surrounded by an array of wild followers. “Ian…what did you do?” he whispered.

“So, I didn’t go to help Fi. I went with Jax to get this done. I, uh… I know I seem flakey at times and I know you’re scared I’ll leave. I see it in your eyes even if you don’t say it. I’m not gonna, Mick. There aren’t any dreams I need to chase anymore. You’re my dream. This is to tell you that. I love you so much and I can’t wait to spend the rest of forever with you.” 

“Are you…proposing?” Mickey asked as Ian came close enough to wrap his freckled arms around Mickey’s waist.

“I don’t know…do you want that? Well, I guess if not then I’m just promising that our ‘maybe someday’ lasts for…maybe forever…so, yeah - I guess I kind of am.” 

Mickey surged up and pressed his own lips to Ian’s as his fingers traced the sore pattern inked just under Ian’s collarbone.  _ Mikhailo _ . “I love you too, Ian. And yeah... maybe someday we can get married or something…as long as I have you…I’m good for life.”

Ian kissed the brunette again as he slotted their bodies close together, “I can’t believe you got my fucking name tattooed,” Mickey chuckled. 

“You like it? Jax designed it.”

“Fuck yeah. I think I like it more than I imagined I could.”

Ian got cocky then raised his eyebrow teasingly, “Yeah, that turn you on? Seeing your name on my chest?” he asked as he pushed Mickey closer to the bed until they both collapsed onto the mattress. 

“What if I say yeah?”

Ian kissed the brunette earnestly before he cupped the side of his face gently looking into bright blue eyes, “I’m so fucking happy I came back.”

“Me too,” Mickey said, chasing Ian’s lips. “Me fucking too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it. Writing this piece has been an absolute joy and i hope you all love it as much as I loved working on it. I stepped out of my comfort zone inviting a complete stranger in to edit this for me and it was eye opening as well as interesting. I had fun taking part in this collaborative effort for this Round. Hopefully my first round of the Big Bang isn't my last. All the love and thanks to Charlotte and Erika. i wish you all the absolute best ❤
> 
> A little background on the title of this fic. when i was in high school I read a book with the same name by Colleen Hoover. While the story is nothing similar to this one the title inspired me to produce this piece. (It was actually going to be titles Be Still My Beating Heart) but Shannon and I liked this title way more. I highly recommend you check out that book because it's a fave of mine. 
> 
> anyways i hope you enjoyed. and I'd really appreciate it if you check out my other works on here.


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